The egoic mind will never give up its movement. You need a new element taking place internally. This new element is a greater joy than this pleasure. The difference between pleasure and joy is that pleasure makes a fuss, whereas the joy, we are talking about, is not this euphoric happiness, which is still from the "pleasurable" mind and the egoic mind. The element that makes possible for your heart to lean toward this silent joy is the element of the own Consciousness. Grace is this element of Consciousness.
While not touched by Grace, you do not have any condition to go beyond the egoic mind. It is possible that this mechanism of pain, conflict and suffering make this attainable, when your heart, that is driven by Grace, turns toward this Consciousness. So, Grace is the element that makes possible for you to abdicate, to abandon the egoic mind in its pursuit for pleasure. This element, which is Grace, is the element of Consciousness within consciousness.
The nature of the Self is to lean toward what brings greater happiness. The Self constantly leans toward what brings greater happiness, and this is what reminds us What It is – its Real Nature. The Self leans to what resembles Its Real Nature! This silent joy, without bustle, natural, the joy of Freedom, of Peace, of Silence and of this Beatitude is what reminds the Self of what It is: Happiness.
Since the ego is very gross, the difficulty one has leaning towards this joy is because this is not the pleasure the ego knows. Everything it knows is this grossness of pleasure – the gross pleasure of the senses. Eating gives pleasure, sleeping gives pleasure, sensory enjoyment gives pleasure, having sex gives pleasure, and all that the ego greatly appreciates is the gross pleasure of such satisfaction of that supposed separate entity.
The egoic mind's attachment to this is very strong, it has been there internally for millennia. The ego will never abandon this, since it is where it stands as "someone." As being aware of itself, of being an entity, of being "someone," the ego will not abandon this.
While you have immaturity for This, there is no possibility, no chance. You are in Satsang because you already have the maturity to perceive the illusion of living in this duality – pleasure and pain, pleasure and pain – in this gross thing, which is the euphoric happiness the ego knows within its achievements.
Due to this maturity, a call from Grace has happened, and that call has placed you in Satsang. When you arrive in Satsang, you realize how much it makes sense. It does not make sense for the egoic mind, but rather for your heart... How much that all makes sense! That silent and gracious joy, outside the mind, outside pleasure and pain, outside this duality... How much that makes sense in this thing called Satsang! So, the Joy of Meditation, of self-inquiry takes place; the Joy of devotion takes place, of turning yourself to God, to the Truth, Happiness, Freedom and Love.
You are going beyond duality, beyond this gross thing that is the constant pursuit of sensory pleasure. Taking a sea bath, a sunbathing, eating, all of these are physical, sensory pleasures. So, once the body begins to be not so important, the matter of pleasure or pain becomes not so important either.
The body is too much important at unconsciousness, to this ego-identity and supposed idea: "I am the body." So, in such idea "I am the body," the body is important, and when it is important, then to be on a beach is better than to be somewhere else, or some other place is better than to be on the beach, or to be with someone is better than to be with somebody else.
These differences begin to appear: It is better to be with so-and-so than with another. To be in one place over another. In this illusion of "being the body," the ego greatly values satisfaction of the body and having specific fulfilments. So, the body is constantly in search of sensations.
Sensation is the egoic life, whether it is sentimental, emotional or physiological, but in Consciousness, in the Self, it does not matter, it is just one more thing. This is like several dishes, different types of food on a table, and all of them have the same importance for you; there is no special one. Thus, the sensory experiences, all of them, become important, but they do not take on this immeasurable importance the ego used to give them – one thing to the detriment to another thing.
Wherefore, after pretty much insistence, this continuity of ego in pursuit of pleasure, carrying this pleasure with an inbuilt pain (a pain that always accompanies this consistent thing of "pleasure and pain"... "pleasure and pain"... "pleasure and pain"...), it so remains until, by an action of Grace, of this Presence, you are touched by an entirely new element, which is this subtle and silent joy.
It is not a gross thing with this burden of pain on the other side – pleasure and pain. Internally touched by this joy, the heart leans, since this is the Self remembering its Real Nature. Thus, there is a possibility for a Divine Call to take place for this Realization of God.
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