Participant: Yesterday you told us we are not ready to face pain. What does that mean?
Mestre Gualberto: we are protected from pain since early childhood. Our parents always had an ignorant affection, having protecting us excessively. They didn't want to see us suffering. They have always protected us from physical and emotional pain. I don't know if you can understand what I mean.
If you are protected from frustration, you don't see it as natural. If you are protected from pain, you grow up with the idea you should never feel pain and therefore, you keep protecting yourself. So, you get into a psychological conditioning game. A “no” causes you a deep and painful feeling of rejection. What do you in order to avoid this feeling? This pain will not kill you, but in order to not feel it, you become a shy child, you ward off people who can hurt, offend or reject you.
So, you carry this internal movement since childhood, always trying to protect yourself from pain. The point is the more you protect yourself from pain, the more sensitive you become to it. As a result, you become a young person and later on a child-behaving adult when rejected, hurt, when no one looks at you. When no one says: "hey, how are you?", you read it suspiciously: "She or he didn't look at me, she or he doesn't like me."
If you examine it closely, the ego is a bundle, a set of bias, fears, choices, fantasies, imaginations. This is the sense of "me.” Our entire culture is shaped around this structure. You do not remain alone to observe this pain, there is always a way to escape, to not look at it. However, the ego is a false structure, a lie.
That psychological, emotional pain is not like physical, neural pain; that one is imaginary! And the more you try to escape from it, the more sensitive you become to that kind of pain. So, what about the ego? It suffers for nothing. Everything causes you pain! If someone speaks loudly to you, it causes you pain, so to protect yourself from that pain, you react to it, you reply aggressively with words or actions, all that to not feel pain, as this is forbidden.
In our culture, in the ego-identity’s culture, it is forbidden to remain with the pain and solve it alone. You have to take it out on something, you have to throw the pain back, so you don't feel it. But now you are an aggressive, violent person, full of fear and pain. The pain remains, but in a different form: as aggression, reactivity, violence. Therefore, you do not get cured of the ego, as you do not notice it. You would only have a chance to notice it if you could feel the pain alone. When you do not notice what you feel, you take it out on something unconsciously, automatically, mechanically.
Do you know what I have been telling people? Find out what Real Meditation is! I see people practicing meditation, but do you know what they do to practice meditation? They look for a quiet space, put on some soft music, breathe in a certain way, stay there for 10 minutes, half an hour, one hour. So far, so good. But when they get up, when they go home, to work or to college, their ego will be badgered there… There is the moment for Meditation! There is Meditation, and not when you are taking a deep breath - that is easy! Meditation, as a practice, is an easy thing! And what about in life, in daily life? That's the exercise! It is simple, but not easy.
To look at the pain when it arises without reacting to it: that is Meditation, to bring Consciousness to this present moment, to what is here and now. This moment is a divine call for you to know yourself, to find that child who was conditioned to not feel pain.
Participant: It seems to me there are two things: one is to feel the pain, another is to not trust the story the thought is telling about it.
Master Gualberto: Yes! Exactly! You believe the story thought creates about the pain. Pain is not the problem! Pain is like a wounded ghost who has been punched. There is no ghost! If the pain is there, ok! But, why creating a story about it? To protect yourself. Your ego reacts to easy this “inexistent pain.”
If our parents were good teachers to us, they would have taught us that: to remain alone with the pain, to not react to it like spoiled children. But they did not teach us that, they were not Realized Beings. Now, you are an adult and you found me, so we will have to fix that! A Master can provide you what society was unable to! But you need to be patient and welcome that with fully trust. That is why a living Master is important: the living Master inspires us! The Master´s Presence inspires us to trust! So, what is my job with you? To fix that!
The point here is: do not react! Be aware of that pain. Do not react to it! Is your wife nervous? No problem! Is your boyfriend stressed? Leave him alone, give him some space and look at yourself, but do not conflict! You are here to learn this, but it is “learning by unlearning.” Here, you will unlearn how to be a “person.” That’s how the Sage is born! When a person unlearns to be a "person," this one discovers the Being!
It is like undressing. You are not this outfit, just like You are not this programming that feels offended, hurt, flapped, angry at everything, afraid of everything. This is not You! So, this is unlearnable. It is like your clothes you take off. Nobody takes a bath with clothes on! In order to bathe in the waters of Wisdom, Consciousness, Truth, you need to get rid of this false “me.” Then, the Divine, your Being, shows Itself fully undressed, and It is beautiful! Your Being makes no enemies!
So, the problem is not the pain; the problem is "someone" in pain. "Someone" in pain will react. The pain itself only shows you something. If you work on it, I promise you one thing: in a short time, people will stop offending, flapping or saddening you ... It is so because none of them are flapping, bothering or saddening you, but rather your ego who is reacting to it indeed!
Notice what I said: your ego makes enemies! When you say inwardly, “I don't like him or her. What an annoying boss! What a horrible job!” This is not outside there; it's all inside you! Do you understand? The world is not your problem, but rather your ego, your mind, your interpretation, your unresolved relationship with yourself. Solve it inside there!
What I say to you here is not a concept, a belief or a theory. I am That! I live It! Do you know what that means? That is your Truth! I am not telling you to learn how to do that. I am telling you to assume That! Unlearn what you are not and stay with what You Are! Unlearn this self-image, these beliefs you have about yourself. Be undressed, take off your clothes, go to the shower, take a bath of Understanding, Intelligence, Truth, Divine Love! This is Meditation!
Mestre Gualberto: we are protected from pain since early childhood. Our parents always had an ignorant affection, having protecting us excessively. They didn't want to see us suffering. They have always protected us from physical and emotional pain. I don't know if you can understand what I mean.
If you are protected from frustration, you don't see it as natural. If you are protected from pain, you grow up with the idea you should never feel pain and therefore, you keep protecting yourself. So, you get into a psychological conditioning game. A “no” causes you a deep and painful feeling of rejection. What do you in order to avoid this feeling? This pain will not kill you, but in order to not feel it, you become a shy child, you ward off people who can hurt, offend or reject you.
So, you carry this internal movement since childhood, always trying to protect yourself from pain. The point is the more you protect yourself from pain, the more sensitive you become to it. As a result, you become a young person and later on a child-behaving adult when rejected, hurt, when no one looks at you. When no one says: "hey, how are you?", you read it suspiciously: "She or he didn't look at me, she or he doesn't like me."
If you examine it closely, the ego is a bundle, a set of bias, fears, choices, fantasies, imaginations. This is the sense of "me.” Our entire culture is shaped around this structure. You do not remain alone to observe this pain, there is always a way to escape, to not look at it. However, the ego is a false structure, a lie.
That psychological, emotional pain is not like physical, neural pain; that one is imaginary! And the more you try to escape from it, the more sensitive you become to that kind of pain. So, what about the ego? It suffers for nothing. Everything causes you pain! If someone speaks loudly to you, it causes you pain, so to protect yourself from that pain, you react to it, you reply aggressively with words or actions, all that to not feel pain, as this is forbidden.
In our culture, in the ego-identity’s culture, it is forbidden to remain with the pain and solve it alone. You have to take it out on something, you have to throw the pain back, so you don't feel it. But now you are an aggressive, violent person, full of fear and pain. The pain remains, but in a different form: as aggression, reactivity, violence. Therefore, you do not get cured of the ego, as you do not notice it. You would only have a chance to notice it if you could feel the pain alone. When you do not notice what you feel, you take it out on something unconsciously, automatically, mechanically.
Do you know what I have been telling people? Find out what Real Meditation is! I see people practicing meditation, but do you know what they do to practice meditation? They look for a quiet space, put on some soft music, breathe in a certain way, stay there for 10 minutes, half an hour, one hour. So far, so good. But when they get up, when they go home, to work or to college, their ego will be badgered there… There is the moment for Meditation! There is Meditation, and not when you are taking a deep breath - that is easy! Meditation, as a practice, is an easy thing! And what about in life, in daily life? That's the exercise! It is simple, but not easy.
To look at the pain when it arises without reacting to it: that is Meditation, to bring Consciousness to this present moment, to what is here and now. This moment is a divine call for you to know yourself, to find that child who was conditioned to not feel pain.
Participant: It seems to me there are two things: one is to feel the pain, another is to not trust the story the thought is telling about it.
Master Gualberto: Yes! Exactly! You believe the story thought creates about the pain. Pain is not the problem! Pain is like a wounded ghost who has been punched. There is no ghost! If the pain is there, ok! But, why creating a story about it? To protect yourself. Your ego reacts to easy this “inexistent pain.”
If our parents were good teachers to us, they would have taught us that: to remain alone with the pain, to not react to it like spoiled children. But they did not teach us that, they were not Realized Beings. Now, you are an adult and you found me, so we will have to fix that! A Master can provide you what society was unable to! But you need to be patient and welcome that with fully trust. That is why a living Master is important: the living Master inspires us! The Master´s Presence inspires us to trust! So, what is my job with you? To fix that!
The point here is: do not react! Be aware of that pain. Do not react to it! Is your wife nervous? No problem! Is your boyfriend stressed? Leave him alone, give him some space and look at yourself, but do not conflict! You are here to learn this, but it is “learning by unlearning.” Here, you will unlearn how to be a “person.” That’s how the Sage is born! When a person unlearns to be a "person," this one discovers the Being!
It is like undressing. You are not this outfit, just like You are not this programming that feels offended, hurt, flapped, angry at everything, afraid of everything. This is not You! So, this is unlearnable. It is like your clothes you take off. Nobody takes a bath with clothes on! In order to bathe in the waters of Wisdom, Consciousness, Truth, you need to get rid of this false “me.” Then, the Divine, your Being, shows Itself fully undressed, and It is beautiful! Your Being makes no enemies!
So, the problem is not the pain; the problem is "someone" in pain. "Someone" in pain will react. The pain itself only shows you something. If you work on it, I promise you one thing: in a short time, people will stop offending, flapping or saddening you ... It is so because none of them are flapping, bothering or saddening you, but rather your ego who is reacting to it indeed!
Notice what I said: your ego makes enemies! When you say inwardly, “I don't like him or her. What an annoying boss! What a horrible job!” This is not outside there; it's all inside you! Do you understand? The world is not your problem, but rather your ego, your mind, your interpretation, your unresolved relationship with yourself. Solve it inside there!
What I say to you here is not a concept, a belief or a theory. I am That! I live It! Do you know what that means? That is your Truth! I am not telling you to learn how to do that. I am telling you to assume That! Unlearn what you are not and stay with what You Are! Unlearn this self-image, these beliefs you have about yourself. Be undressed, take off your clothes, go to the shower, take a bath of Understanding, Intelligence, Truth, Divine Love! This is Meditation!
*Presential meeting transcription, originally held in Graz, Austria, on November 25, 2019. First published in Portuguese on September, 4, 2020. For more information about our meetings, click here.
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