Let’s talk about the psychological suffering. Not physical suffering, physical suffering we know. When you are going for medical treatment and there is a certain pain in your body due to some physical problem, this is physical pain, this is physical suffering.
Here, I want to work with you on this issue of psychological pain.
How to go beyond this presence of psychological pain that is suffering? It is in this sense that we use the expression “suffering” here: psychological suffering, psychological pain – this is what interests us.
We can make a list of what these psychological pains are: worry, anxiety, fear, insomnia, nervousness, stress, jealousy, envy, loneliness, the existential emptiness... all of this is part of this psychological suffering.
We have an illusion about this, a primary illusion: it is the illusion that this is being caused by some element external to ourselves, which is not true. That external element is just appearing as a challenge, as a stimulus, but this suffering is not from that challenge or that stimulus.
This suffering is something present in us, in what we are.
When a loved one dies, you suffer and you say that the death was cruel, because the belief is that if the death had not happened, the suffering would not have been there. In fact, this suffering is already present, it always has been, even before the death of that loved one, because the presence of that suffering is the presence of emotional dependency, it’s the dependency of attachment, it’s the dependency of fulfillment on that sensation of pleasure in that relationship, which is something intimate in what you are.
Notice what we're saying. You are the basic element of suffering, not the other. So, if a loved one dies, you're not grieving because they died, you're grieving because you're grieving, because that’s a fact of this “me” reality: grieving.
This “I” lives in pleasure and pain. This “I” lives, within its beliefs, seeking and trying to sustain something unsustainable. Death is inevitable, but this “I” does not accept losses. It doesn't accept that something it’s in control of, with power, and attached to, and feeling safe there, is ripped away from itself, is taken away from itself. It can't stand losing control. It is being emptied of its power.
The suffering present in us is the presence of the ego-identity. It is the egocentrism in us that is the real reason for suffering, it is not death, it is not the loss of a loved one. This also goes for someone who abandoned you. This sense of ego, of this “me,” this “I,” will never accept that it is no longer loved or that people don’t like it anymore. It will never say “they don't like me,” it will never say “I am that suffering.”
No, you will never say “I am suffering,” you will say “that makes me suffer,” “she makes me suffer,” “she was seduced, so he is guilty of seducing her. She was innocent, he is the culprit.” Always some outside, external element, never this “me,” this “I,” this ego.
If someone is betrayed on the sofa, they will take the sofa and throw it away.
Do you understand what we are saying?
The problem is always outside. This pain was caused by the couch, so I'm going to get rid of the couch. When suffering is present, I am not the suffering itself. The reason, the cause, is always an external element; it is something outside that was the culprit, that was the cause.
In the ego, we live unconscious of the truth that we are, of what we become in this egoic identification. Suffering is something that is always related to something; it is that “me” and something that has run away, that has gone away, that has died, that has disappeared. Suffering is always in that “I” in a relationship with something out there, with something external. Sadness has a reason, worry has a reason, fear, anxiety... It’s that “I” and this experience. This is what we call suffering, this is the psychological suffering.
See, that suffering has its roots, its reason, its cause, in that duality, and that duality is there because that “I” is there; this “I” is always the reason. You love somebody – here we have duality. That “someone” runs away with another. This idea is the idea of the love I have in this relationship. When I am betrayed, deceived, when something happens outside the “I´s” control, suffering is there.
Now, is it true that the other, the world, is the reason, the cause, of my fixations, my desires, my psychological dependencies, my attachments? Is it the world?
You see, it is always the presence of duality. I never look at the suffering that I am when these desires, fears, attachments, these mistaken relationships of sensation, pleasure, self-fulfillment in the other, which I call love... I never look at this “me.” That “I” is the cause, that “I” is the reason. When there is Love, there is no such “I;” when there is Love, there are no others; there are no fixations, there are no desires, there are no fears, there are no attachments, there is no psychological illusion of self-fulfillment in an object, in a person, in a sensation. When there is Love, nothing can be taken away from you, because when there is Love, you have absolutely nothing: you don't have the power, you don't have the control, you don't have the attachment, you don't have the desire, you don't have the fear. When there is Love, that “you” is not a “person,” not an ego-identity in a relationship with the other, with the external, with the world.
Notice what we are working on with you. We are showing you that a life free of the ego, this “I,” this “me,” this illusory center around which the world has to revolve, is possible. This represents the end of egocentrism. The presence of Life is the presence of Consciousness, of Intelligence, and that is Love. And when there is Love, there is no suffering. When there is Love, there is no violence, there is no possession, there is no power, there is no control.
When something is taken away from you, you become self-absorbed, enraged, jealous. We call love those feelings like jealousy, possession, control. We don't use these expressions because they are ugly, they look sick to us, they appear to be expressions that... and, in fact, they are impressions linked to internal states of unhappiness. We call jealousy love, we don't realize that jealousy is possession, is control, is aggression, is violence, is emotional dependence. Jealousy is suffering. And this suffering is not because the other neglects us, it is because the sense of “I” in us feels neglected, betrayed, deceived, deluded, disenchanted.
We live, in the ego, within expectations that need to be seen. The moment you stop looking outside, at the world, stop having this relationship – all of it – based on the search for egoic self-fulfillment, which is the search for sensation, pleasure, fulfillment in a relationship with the other, with the world, with life… suffering ends. The Divine Truth, which is the Truth of God, reveals Itself. This is You in your Natural State of Spiritual Enlightenment or Spiritual Awakening.
Your Natural State transcends all states of this ego-identity. This “I” is a deep psychological, social, cultural, educational, ancestral conditioning; it is the movement of separateness, it is the movement of duality.
We have been focusing here on the importance of ending this sense of separateness, this duality. In India, this is called Advaita. This is straight from the Vedas. In the Vedas, we have a part called “Advaita Vedanta,” Non-Duality, Non-Separateness. The Vedas deal with this Vision of the Divine Reality of your Being, which represents Happiness. God Consciousness is the Consciousness of Non-Separation, of Non-Duality, of this “not me,” of this “not me.” If that is present, there is no suffering.
All the suffering is there because of that sense of duality or separateness, and it’s there because of the existence of this “I,” this “me.” This “me,” this “I,” is the suffering. It is the problem, it is not the world, it is not the other, it is not life. To investigate, to look, to observe, to go beyond this sense of “I” is to go beyond this duality, therefore it represents going beyond suffering, beyond all these escapes from psychological pains, which is this suffering of the ego. Smoking, drinking, eating, the pursuit of sex, or anything else done for the purpose of temporarily escaping these inner states of psychological pain are escapes.
Human beings live on the run, replacing what causes them pain with something else. Someone replaces his girlfriend, replaces her husband, replaces his wife, replaces... They live playing this game and continue in this internal frame of unhappiness, of suffering, because they are always identifying themselves with this “me,” with this “I,” with this ego. The observation of movement of the ego, how it moves, how it behaves in relation to the other, with life... the own internal movement of thought, feeling, emotion, sensation... The observation of this is the principle of Self-awareness. Without this principle of Self-awareness, which starts from this observation, there is no Awakening of Wisdom, and without Wisdom, which is the Presence of Intelligence, of Consciousness Itself, which is Love, there is no Happiness.
So, our work together here is to show you that Happiness is possible, Love is possible, Freedom is possible when that “I” is not there. So, your relationship with the other, your relationship with the world, your relationship with life is a free relationship here and now, for what arrives and leaves, for what comes and goes, because there is no such thing as “I” and therefore there is no more fear, attachment, power, control; there is no more illusion.
Therefore, this is the subject that we deal with, here on this channel. If this is something that makes sense to you, leave your “like” there, subscribe to the channel… I want to remind you: we have online and face-to-face meetings and also retreats to work on this together. If that makes sense to you, here’s the invitation. OK?
And we'll see you in the next one.
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