January 22, 2023

Psychological conditioning | Psychological suffering | Kundalini | The illusion of individuality

Ok. So, let’s go! The point here is the need for the understanding of the “I,” that “me.” After all, what is ego? What is the “I”? What is this “me”?

When you refer to yourself, you always use the expression “I.” It’s important to now say that we have this idea, this belief. In these few minutes with you here, we’re going to investigate and explore this matter: the matter of the construct of this “I,” and how it is constructed. This “I” that you believe to be… how was it constructed? We’re going to talk to you about the ego, which is this “I,” and Self-awareness.

Where does Self-awareness come in? Why is the understanding of this “I,” this ego formation, important? After all, what is ego?

Notice that it’s very simple to see this. Our experiences, all of them, left us remembrances, memories. When we go through experiences, we register them and they start to become part of us, as a memory, as a remembrance. It has been like this since the cradle. We record it, and these records are very particular, they are records for each one of us, of this particular brain, this particular body. Then, they’re particular memories of private experiences.

Thus, whatever memory you have is really intimate, it’s private. And, as this pronoun “I” is a matter of culture, linked to identification, you identify with yourself as being “I,” and, for the other, as this “I” with a name and a story.

So, that’s basically it. The sense of “I,” this identity we assume, is a set of experiences stored in this memory format. Every reference you have about who you are is within those memories. This is the sense of “I” that thought idealizes, and feeling and body sensation convince you that this “I” is present.

Here, the fact is that we’re dealing with an illusion: this is the illusion of individuality. We have a particular experience of memory, of remembrance, of story, but the consciousness of that individuality is an illusion. Consciousness is an element outside memory, remembrance, and story.

When a person has a neurological problem – if, for example, the person has an accident – a part of that memory in the brain can be deleted. And yet, even without that memory, the sense of illusory identity is still present. Thus, this illusory identity is also shown as something beyond these very remembrances and memories.

So, here, we are already seeing another aspect of this “I.” The biological, neurological inheritance, the inheritance of this organism also carries this sense of “I,” something ingrained in the very cells of the body. That’s interesting. The body is a memory and the cells carry all this memory.

How can we go beyond this illusion of this individual consciousness? The illusion is that in this memory, connected to the body, the cells of the body, and the story of experiences we go through since childhood, forms a whole called consciousness, which I’ve called mental consciousness. Our consciousness is this consciousness. We identify this mind consciousness with this illusion: the illusion of this individual consciousness.

The work of Self-awareness is the one that will show you that there’s something present outside of that mental consciousness, that illusion of individual consciousness, that “I.” The Realization of the Truth about Yourself is the end of the illusion that you, as a separate entity with an individual consciousness, exist.

Dealing with the particular memory of that body is simple. The difficulty we have is dealing with the illusion of this individual consciousness. It’s in this illusory individual consciousness, which is this mental consciousness, that this whole pattern of cultural and psychological conditioning of the ego, of this “me,” is located.

You need to see this. Not like that: intellectually, with words; you need to see this within yourself, this element of this illusory individual consciousness loaded, as it is, with everything that humanity has and represents. Psychological suffering is part of it.

You are here looking at this because something in you has already started to awaken, it has already warned that there’s something beyond this condition of mental consciousness and being born, living, getting sick, growing old, and dying. There’s something beyond this suffering condition within this egoic consciousness. There’s something beyond this fear, despair, confusion, violence, this disturbance that our lives have become throughout all this time in history. We only have a few decades, but humanity has been there for millennia, living in this scheme, in this model.

So, what’s Spiritual Enlightenment? What’s Spiritual Awakening? It’s the end of this illusion, the illusion of the sense of “I,” “me,” of ego; the end of the illusion of this personal individuality; it is the end of this condition of suffering, despair, fear, violence, and unhappiness.

Our job here is to understand that. People want Enlightenment, they want Awakening because they idealize that, with Awakening, Enlightenment, they’ll be happy and have peace, love, and freedom. What they don’t realize is that what they call happiness, peace, love, and freedom is still an imagination, created within that context of the ego itself, a projection of that egoic consciousness.

I have something to tell you: when there’s Happiness there’s no sense of “someone.” We can see it! The moment you’re happy, you don’t feel happy. It’s only a few moments later that a thought arrives and says, “How happy I am!” That’s not the presence of Happiness; it’s the presence of a happy individuality.

So, notice how curious it is, how the ego takes anything and defiles it. In the moment of joy, there’s no feeling of being happy; there’s joy! It’s only a few seconds later that thought comes: “How happy I am!” Or someone asks you, “How are you?” “Oh, I am happy!” You’re not happy anymore! And why aren’t you happy anymore? Because the sense of “I” is present. It’s corrupt: it comes and corrupts joy; it’s a fraud! The sense of “I” is the sense of ego.

So, when people say: “I want Enlightenment, the Awakening, to be happy”, they are projecting a happy “me”; “I want Enlightenment to be Wise,” they’re projecting a wise “me”; “I want Realization to be Realized,” they’re projecting a realized “I”; it’s still a projection of the ego!

Notice how interesting this is. When people say: “I love to meditate,” what are they saying? They’re saying they don’t know what Meditation is, because the presence of the meditator is the absence of the True Meditation. Because, what’s Meditation? It’s the absence of egoic self-consciousness. What is Meditation? It’s the absence of the consciousness of the meditator. And what’s Enlightenment? It’s the absence of the sense of “someone” present.

When someone says: “My Kundalini has awakened!” notice: it’s the sense of self-consciousness of someone who has an awakened Kundalini – this is a fraud, an illusion, a fantasy, this is imagination! Because, since Kundalini is pure Consciousness and Consciousness is the absence of self-consciousness, of egoic consciousness, the presence of awakened Kundalini is the absence of the “I.” The presence of Meditation is the absence of the meditator; the presence of Enlightenment is the absence of an enlightened “someone”; the presence of Peace is the absence of “someone” feeling peace, speaking of peace, and declaring peace to the world. It’s like when people say, “I feel the presence of God.” When God is present, there’s no you! The sense of ego disappears, it vanishes.

The Reality of God is a very Real Presence. It’s not something that stands parallel to an experiencer; it can’t be experienced by “someone.” The Presence of God is the absence of “someone.” The Presence of Love is the absence of “someone” loving. “I am full of love…” You are full of feeling, good intentions, affection, tenderness, and kindness, but that’s not Love.

So, notice how important it is to investigate this matter of the “I” and where it hides itself. In the wonderful moments of our life, the “I” is there! The “I” is loving, sympathizing, doing charity, sharing kindness…but it’s the “I”! And the “I” is within that limitation, that system of beliefs, images, memories, remembrances, and experiences.

So, the kindness I can do is the one I’ve learned, and what I’ve learned is still part of the ego, it’s part of what I was taught. And when we speak here of the sense of Pure Consciousness, we speak of the end of the illusion of an individuality loving, happy, free, intelligent, wise, meditating... We speak of the Natural State of Consciousness, What You are in your Being. And when You, in your Being, are present, there’s no you as an individual consciousness.

How can we see this? How can we understand this? By self-observation. So, when someone says or idealizes: “I want the Truth,” the mind immediately projects an ideal of “Truth,” a belief of “Truth,” of what Truth represents. “I want God,” then the mind projects something. “I want Enlightenment,” the mind does the same.

And all this is still dealing with a memory, a story, a psychological conditioning, in which the mind believes and projects into the future, while Self-awareness is to perceive this sense of the ego, this self-identity, projecting the future based on the past.

Everything we represent as separate entities, as people, is a representation of our past – with all good intentions – projecting oneself into the future. Then, this is not effective here. Our contact with Self-awareness puts us in direct contact with the True Meditation, and when there’s True Meditation, there’s no “someone” meditating. When there is Self-awareness, there’s an end to the illusion of knowing yourself, in the sense of recognizing yourself as a separate entity. Here, Self-awareness is to realize the illusion of the separate identity, of this “I,” this “me,” this ego.

Is everything ok?

Meditation is the end of “someone” meditating; Self-awareness is the end of “someone” recognizing oneself. The expression “self-awareness” used in psychology and philosophy is curious – we don’t use it in that sense here. So, I’ve already heard the expression: “I need to know myself because I have to improve as a person, I have to become a better person, I have to work better, produce more, then, I have to relate better with my family…” So, the search for this “self-knowledge”, in psychology, is for personal development – the sense of a person developing. This sense of person is self-consciousness, individual consciousness, the sense of “someone” present in the experience of living.

Our work together is to discover that this “someone,” this “person,” doesn’t exist; discover that the Nature of Being is not self-conscious. The Nature of Being is Consciousness, outside of that sense of an “I.” This is Love, Peace, Meditation, God, and Wisdom, but there’s no “someone”… There is no “someone”!

The expression “Self-realization” … All these expressions… we have to approach [them] carefully because it can’t be “someone” realized. Self-realization is the Realization of “not someone,” the Realization that there’s no “someone.” Enlightenment is not “someone” enlightened. People ask, “How can I become enlightened?”

No one wants to deal with death, but without death, there’s no New. And, as the Realization of the Truth is the Awakening of the New – the New is the Unknown – then there’s no point in reforming the old. We’re going to modify the old, we’re going to transform the old, but the old being transformed is still the old modified. So, enlightened “someone” is still “someone” enlightened. What kind of light does “someone” still have?

The New is the Unusual, the New is the Unknown, the New is out of time and therefore out of the possibility of transformation and change. The New is the New; it has nothing to do with the old! This is Spiritual Awakening, Spiritual Enlightenment, or Spiritual Realization.

So, understanding the illusion of the ego is the end of the illusion of the “I,” of that self-consciousness. This is possible when the death of the past, which is the “I,” the ego, this “me,” takes place. Here, I refer to this psychological death since physical death doesn’t work. Throughout human history, many people have died, and dying is just changing clothes, that means absolutely nothing! The change of clothes is just an apparent new outfit for a declared old body. Then, you change clothes, but the body is old. Such is the egoic mind.

So, the Truth about who You are, is the beginning of Something New, Unknown, Something arising within a discontinuity, because there’s no time present; there was a break.

This is our subject here. Ok? Let’s stop here. Ok?

Let’s work on it! Namaste.

December, 2022
Gravatá-PE, Brazil
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