GC: Hello everyone! We are here for another videocast. Once again, Master Gualberto gives us the opportunity to ask questions, bringing a deeper understanding of these studies on Spiritual Enlightenment. Gratitude, Marcos, gratitude, Master, for yet another opportunity.
Today I am going to bring you a very interesting excerpt from the book “A Parenthesis in Eternity,” by Joel Goldsmith, where Joel says: “It is not only by trying to change ourselves into better humans that we prepare ourselves for the acceptance of our spiritual identity. Being humanly good has nothing to do with dying every day. Dying daily is a realization that we are dissatisfied with our current lifestyle, dissatisfied even if we have economic sufficiency, good health or a happy family. Yet there is dissatisfaction, a sense of something missing in us, an inner restlessness, a lack of peace, an inner discontent. Without that hunger and that inner urge, there is no ‘dying’.” Master, could you talk a little more about this inner restlessness, about this desire that burns in the heart for God?
MG: OK, let’s go then! This inner restlessness or disquiet – what is it really? In general, Gilson, people are resigned to the condition of life in which they find themselves. There is a certain “unsatisfied satisfaction” within people that they are completely unaware of. They are satisfied, they are not really aware of the present dissatisfaction. There is dissatisfaction present in them, within that satisfaction. The behavior of humans is very curious, seeming to be looking, in fact, for something beyond that condition common to all.
First, when we grow up, we create goals in life: professional, marriage, family... and, little by little, this starts to happen. But along with that there is, within the human being – and this is the great truth of which we are not aware, until we really are… there is within the human being a dissatisfaction, an existential void, something that nothing on the outside, externally, can fill. However, the condition of the human mind is such that, little by little, we get used to, or get accustomed to, or conform to this internal lack. And we are not aware of this lack, because with the passage of time we are resigned to external achievements.
So, actually, most people carry this pain, the internal dissatisfaction, this existential void; most people carry this in a very unconscious way. And they have many things in place of that void apparently occupying it. So, they don't become aware, until some of them have a very great loss, a very great pain, which is when, at that moment, they realize that there is something that is not right in their lives. But, in general, most people go a lifetime without any awareness of their inner unhappy state, because they are so full of external things taking the place of that unhappiness that they are not even aware of how unhappy they are.
What I have noticed is that sometimes I say to people, “Have you noticed unhappiness? Do you realize how unhappy you are?” They look at me in astonishment. They say, “No, but I am happy! I have a good marriage, my daughter is going to college…” and they start to describe their external world, as if that was really happiness for them. They don't even realize this pain, this present existential emptiness. Until, for some, because this dream of this apparent happiness changes – they have the loss of a loved one, a difficult situation – they begin to realize that they need to turn to something outside this world, to this search for something outside, beyond this known. That’s when the search process begins.
If you're here on this channel, something has probably already started to happen to you. An attraction to something out of this world. There is a natural disinterest in these external accomplishments, and you don't even know why you aren't as interested as the people around you in these external things. You don't even know why you have such an inclination for something internal, even if you apparently don't feel that pain so much, that emptiness so much, but there is a greater joy in you in the search for something outside the known.
I'm speaking from my experience. I didn't carry this pain of depression, none of that when I was a child, but I had great joy in getting involved with the things of God. So, I felt, as a child, that there was something beyond simply getting married, having children and everything else – although all of that also happened here in Gualberto’s story, but there was this greater inclination towards this search for the Divine. And we need that search. Without that, if we're not really burning for It, we're sure to be distracted by all sorts of external things and that Realization in this life won't be possible.
It’s that simple, Gilson. Realistically, the Realization of God, which is the Realization of Truth, requires this greatly applied energy – this energy of Life, of Existence, of Consciousness – all the energy of your Being directed towards this Realization. If you are not really burning for It, It will not burn you, It will not evaporate that sense of ego, it will always have something to fill itself externally and continue in this unconscious suffering, unaware of how much it lives in the lie and illusion. And that has been most people’s lives.
So, it is necessary to burn for God, it is necessary to have that fire burning inside, until that fire consumes the illusion of this false “I,” which is the person you believe you are, with the things you believe you have, or that you may get or that you may lose, or that you dream, or that you idealize, or that you try to hold on to. All this within the ego needs to disappear with it. And only the fire of that Presence burning inside and that energy available for that surrender to the Truth, for that total involvement with It, for that Reality to show itself, that Reality of your Being, that Reality of God.
So, without burning for God, you are not in the moment to really go beyond this world, this dream, this illusion, this false “I” with its problems. And the biggest problem is one’s own sense of identity separate from God, in this emptiness, in this existential pain. And, again, most are not even aware of the pain they bring until they start to lose things and realize... And they begin to realize that there is no psychological safety in fulfillment in objects, in people, in ideas, and beliefs. When that starts to become quicksand for that ego, then really the quest or the search for something beyond that starts to happen. That’s it.
GC: Master, this existential void, this pain, I remember since childhood there were moments when this void came. But what happened in this story – and this is common in this human activity – [was] running away. Pain comes, we run away in pursuit of pleasure; and then comes the pain, we run away in search of pleasure. We run away from pain and seek pleasure. And then, the pain, this emptiness, is camouflaged, and life goes on. But there’s a moment when, as Master just said, things get a little tighter, and then we see that really in the world, in the human world, as Joel himself states and Master too, there’s nothing, no external accomplishment that will bring that Real Happiness. And then we see that it is really about going beyond this world. And then, by Grace, I found Master, and the Master shares, gives this direction: not to run away from pain, but to get closer to it, to this existential void. Master, may you talk a little about this approach to what is presented? For example, when existential void presents itself.
MG: We have several ways to approach this issue of approaching pain. Why this approach? We do not understand what we are not very aware of. We cannot understand something that happens to us that we are not aware of. We need to become aware of what is happening to us here and now, in order to truly perceive the illusion or truth of it. Without coming into direct contact with it, it is impossible.
So, what happens, in general, Gilson, is that our conditioning – and this is from childhood – is not to experience pain. So, since childhood... when a child falls, the father or mother, whoever is very near, goes there and lifts the child and starts to caress the child so that the child does not cry, tries to comfort the child to avoid him feeling this pain from the fall. People, understand this: children fall! When they are learning to walk, they have to fall and get up. This is how they will learn to walk. So, we have a very illusory idea of what compassion, care, appreciation, and affection are.
And the worst: these words that I just used, we also make them deceptively identify with an imaginary idea that we call love. So, for us “love” is exactly that: affection, care, protection. But this kind of protection from pain has nothing to do with the Reality of Love, it has to do with our conception of what love is, because when you protect a child from crying, you're not letting them get in touch with the experience of pain, of learning from falling and getting up.
I'm using this example here, physically, but psychologically it’s much more serious. We were not taught, Gilson, since childhood, to approach the experience of psychological pain, the pain of frustration, the pain of losing or not having appreciation, or rejection… They tried to shield us, to spare us the psychological experience of this frustrated, suffering “I,” in contradiction, in suffering, and they always came to comfort us. And that made us little creatures very addicted to the search for consolation, comfort, and made us become little people very much in need of not suffering. With that, we learn to run away from pain without looking at it.
Suffering puts you in touch with the experience of an identity present in suffering. Guys, this is something wonderful: you realize that you are an identity present in this suffering and this present identity is a product of self-image, created by the illusory “I” itself; realize that this illusory “I,” who is always saving himself or herself from suffering, seeking shelter in external appreciations – which in reality only gives continuity to more suffering, in the short, medium and long term, for this “I” ... Until we don’t realize that contact with the experience of suffering shows that it is the sense of someone present with a wounded image, psychologically speaking... When you, for example, are not appreciated, when you are not praised, when you are not applauded when you do the right things, this causes you suffering, because your ego is always looking for this appreciation.
We have become creatures psychologically, emotionally, totally dependent on this self-image we have of ourselves, and we want others to recognize this image and always applauding our good deeds and turning a blind eye to our bad deeds. And even worse: our own self-image is always looking to protect itself from this pain for ourselves, about what we think we are or about what we think we should be and about what people think about us.
We don't come into direct contact with the experience of that ego, that “I,” and pain makes that possible. But how are we going to get in touch with this pain if we weren't taught from childhood that looking at what is happening here and now, without that self-image, without that self-complacency, without that self-compassion, frees us from the ego? They never taught that to us. Quite the contrary, they keep trying to protect us from falling so we don't cry. I say “they,” the whole world.
We have a behavior of deep psychological dependence on the opinion of others, on what people think, say, feel about us, in addition to what we ourselves think, feel and believe about ourselves. This is all grounded in this ego-identity, the illusion of an identity, which is the “I” – a personality, a completely false identity, completely illusory, the result of a psychological conditioning that has been present for millennia in humanity and that is now for decades in us. If I'm thirty, forty or fifty, that’s fifty years identified with everything that exists in this complicated, afflicted, suffered, unhappy humanity: envy, jealousy, anger, fear, desires, incredible afflictions, different forms of suffering. This is present in this sense of the ego, that illusory entity that sees itself separate from the other, the world, and God.
So, if we don't get in touch with this pain of this “I” – because this “I” is the reason for this pain – we won't become aware of the lie to live in this illusory identity. So, having a direct contact with what I am here and now, without running away, is essential for us to discover something beyond that, outside of this “I,” of this “ego.” There is something in you that is not in the world nor in this model of human culture, illusion and suffering. There is something in you outside of fear, anger, envy, jealousy, ambition, the desire to conquer, the desire to possess, the fear of suffering, these different fears that we have.
We have different fears, Gilson. The state of psychological unhappiness in human beings is terrible! We are afraid of everything! It’s fear of old age, it’s fear of illness, it’s fear of the husband, fear of children... Afraid of everything! We live psychologically trapped in the illusion of security that the ego seeks in things, people, objects, beliefs... and none of that solves it! To make matters worse, there are religious beliefs, the search for protection. So, all this has to do with the illusion of “someone,” which is the fearful ego, and that ego is not real. The only Reality present is Divine Reality, which carries none of that; it is the sense of ego that carries it. And if we don't look at that, we can't go beyond that. If we don't approach to discover this, here and now, this sense of separation, of illusion and what it represents... without this Self-awareness, it won't work.
That’s why the various meditation practices that are done don't work. Because you are meditating, but who is meditating? Your Real Meditation is to become aware of the illusion of this “I” here and now, in what happens, in what goes on, and to go beyond this illusion, this mind trapped in this model of belief, self-image and everything else. All good? That’s it.
GC: Master, you touched on a point that is quite interesting. How humans are unaware of all the suffering they carry, of all the contradictions! Because I remember that when I, by Grace, met Master, and Master in these speeches – because Master’s speech repeats itself in different ways – was talking about this approach to suffering, to contradiction… and this naughty thing of this ego will say: “No, but there aren't many contradictions, there aren't many problems.” I think the term even Master used was “problem.” And then in complete unconsciousness of all the wallowing that the mind, that the ego does… full of conflict! Then I remember that in a Satsang the Master said: “When I say ‘conflict’, I'm not talking about the war, I'm talking about a conflict of thinking about something and wanting to think about something else.” So, I remember, as soon as I approached this work with the Master – my God! –, all this wallowing that the human mind is, by the Grace of the Master, I began to see all this confusion, all this disorder, which was sneakily hidden by practices, reading, and studies. All this contradiction remained in the background; it was not seen. And then by the Grace of Master... the contradiction is hilarious, because the mind is always bringing thought and judgment... And to be able to observe this, like the Master says, is to see the present illusion, and then it is to do nothing, simply to see, this “look.”
And even at this point, Master, I want to pick a question from Augusto Moreno Viena Pestana, who speaks about this: “What is looking at the movement of thought?” If you can talk a little about it...
MG: Looking at this movement of thought – which is, in reality, a movement of the mind – looking at it, Gilson, is fundamental. And I will explain why. By looking at the movement of thought, we have here a key that opens an extraordinary door for you, because by looking at the movement of thought, you become aware of the illusion of the observer. What is that? What have I been calling an “observer”? I mean the illusion that you are someone who thinks, someone who thinks thought; thought is an experience and you are someone who is producing that experience called “thought.” So, there is an illusion here: the “I-thinker” illusion producing thought as an experience.
People, understand this: when you're in that condition, which is the ego condition, you're stuck in what I've been calling psychological time.
Let me put this straight for you here. The notion of someone present within thought... Note: thought is the result of the past. You don't have a single thought that isn't a memory. Show me a thought that isn’t a memory. Every thought is just a memory, and that thought, because it is a memory, is an experience lived in the past, recorded in the brain and now incorporated into that consciousness that I call egoic consciousness or mental consciousness. So, when this thought arises and you put an identity, which is the belief of an identity, by thinking this – you think you are thinking this thought – you are introducing an illusion into your existence: the illusion of psychological time. This illusion of psychological time in your existence is the illusion of the “I,” of the ego, because you are the one thinking that thought. So, you are the observer of the thing that is being observed, which is thought.
Here is the presence of psychological time: it is precisely the presence of the observer, it is precisely the presence of the thinker, which is the presence of the “I.” If you take away, eliminate, the presence of the observer from the thought experience – listen to this, I am giving you the secret of Meditation here – if you eliminate the presence of the thinker from the thought experience, eliminate the experience of the observer who is observing the thought ... if you eliminate the observer, eliminate the thinker, eliminate the experiencer from the experience, you are left with only the thought, only with the experience and that does not imply time. That’s something here and now!
You only put time in when you put in the thinker, who says “I don't like that,” or “I like that,” “No, I want to think about it more,” “No, but I don't want to think about it.” When that happens, the thinker has entered. When the thinker enters, the illusion of psychological time enters. This is where the ego lives. Your ego, the person you believe yourself to be, is either in the past or in the future, and this present only interests it to occupy itself with the past or the future. That’s the key point.
The ego, Gilson, is nothing more than an illusion created by thought itself, which separates itself as a thinker, creates an identity and says: “I.” There is no “I”! There is no “I” other than thought using the pronoun “I” to name someone within experience, which is thought itself. It is a great move of thought to continue in psychological time, because it is the creator of psychological time. It created the “I” to say, “I don't like this” or “I like this.” So, we live, Gilson, as human creatures identified with this thinker, this “I,” this observer. We live as human creatures trapped in this idea of becoming somebody. “I'm not happy as I am, I need to be happy.” And “will I be happy” when? In time, tomorrow! “I was that, I am that today and tomorrow I will be something else.” All this is in the illusion of a psychological identity here and now, which is a fraud. That is the presence of the ego, that is the presence of the “I.” If you sustain the illusion of that identity, you don't die.
I have been talking, Gilson, about the importance of accepting death, death of this illusion, which is the illusion of a psychological identity. If you accept the death of that “I” within experiences, that “I” disappears. You are left with the pure experience without the illusion of somebody in it, so there is no more separation. If a thought, a feeling, an emotion, a sensation arises without the “I,” there is no psychological time. You are here and now, and that “You” is the Reality of Real Consciousness itself. It is here that I call your Being as Real Consciousness, That which is You. OK?
GC: Gratitude, gratitude, Master! Gratitude... Our time has come. I'm just going to comment quickly. I think I even commented on some other videocasts too, on an intensive weekend Satsang, even online, I think it was the fifth or sixth... I've been participating for a long time. I only know that Master, pointing to this reality that thought and thinker are one thought... and soon something became very clear: how this “I,” which thinks of itself as “I,” is a thought. It’s slavery, the human is a slave to a thought, oh my gosh! So, it is being close to the Master for this Grace to clear all this lie of thought and be able to look at it all.
So, here’s the invitation for those who have been following the videocasts and Master’s channel: so subscribe to the channel, if you haven't subscribed yet, leave the “like,” make a comment with questions. And anyone who feels something beyond what is being said by Master Gualberto, here’s an invitation to this approach in this deep investigation that takes place through Satsangs in person (much more) and also online weekend intensives.
So, Master, gratitude... gratitude for this opportunity that you give us. Big hug!
MG: OK, guys, see you soon!
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