November 16, 2024

Social anxiety: how to control it? Importance of self-awareness | How to deal with low self-esteem?

We have a way of dealing with experience – experience is what happens here, at this moment – ​​that is quite mistaken, and that is what manifests for each of us, immediately, in the medium or long term, as complications. When someone comes along, for example, and asks: “How can I control my anxiety? I have social anxiety, how to control it?”

Note that each of us will face this or that internal state or situation of disorder, discomfort, and suffering. Just pay a little attention to yourself and you will discover that this is present. And why is this present in all of us? This is present because of the psychological condition in which we find ourselves; the psychological condition – and now I will make a note here – for most of us, if not for all of us.

In these meetings, for example, here on this channel, we are proposing to you a Freedom that is possible for each of us, and here in particular we are not sharing with you something that is a theory. Here, we are touching on a subject with you that is possible to have, in this life, a direct awareness about all of this.

It is the lack of comprehension that puts us in this condition, which is the condition – and this is the “caveat” – of most people. So, on some psychological level, most people are experiencing internal situations of disorder, conflict, contradiction, problems, and suffering. It is this psychological suffering present in human beings that is determining the human suffering present in most people.

Here, our disposition is for the comprehension of that. We do not have a direct comprehension of this within ourselves, we do not know how to deal with the problem. We, as human beings, are burdened with problems, especially problems of this order, of this type. It is not just the issue of anxiety, depression, anguish, the pain of loneliness or jealousy, we have several other situations of psychological unhappiness present in this condition of psychological suffering, and we do not know how to deal with it. We do not know how to deal with it because we do not have a true comprehension of it, and I want to touch on this subject here with you.

How can we have a true understanding of these internal states of disorder, conflict and distress that we carry? It is worth noting here: see that in this contact with others, with the world, with life around us, based on pre-established thought models within us, such as belief models that we have, as ways of believing and disbelieving, of accepting and rejecting life as it happens, this is what has placed us within this context of existence or life, in this or that situation of suffering.

And in this contact with others, in this contact with life, this disorder or this distressing way of living within us is representing suffering. It is not just our suffering, my suffering, it is the suffering of him or her who lives with me, with the world around me. So, we do not come into direct contact with the problem, we do not know how to do that.

We even seek therapeutic help, so psychotherapy can help. But in the sense of help, the practice of meditation, as people practice out there, can also help. Involvement with religious beliefs, with prayers and supplications, can also help. But here with you, we are delving deeper into these issues, because our interest here is not in receiving help, but rather in having a direct vision, a clear understanding of the problem.

By approaching the problem and having a clear vision of what it means, how it acts, how it functions, what it represents, we are thus placing ourselves in a new position in the face of this psychological condition, in the face of a new condition, which is one of investigation, of studying ourselves. And when we do this, we can indeed have a great discovery, the discovery of the end to this psychological condition. It is not about help, but about breaking away from this old and ancient condition.

This is our commitment; this is our interest here with you on this channel. We need to become aware of the truth, of what is happening to us at this instant, at this moment. This is where we have the greatest difficulty. This is where we come across the real complication in directly approaching the problem, because we are always, based on the idea that thought constructs about the problem, postponing it, delaying it.

There is a thought, notice, about these states, and there is the state itself. There is a difference between an idea, an image, a representation of thought about the state and the state itself. In general, we do not confront the state, because we have ideas about it, and when we seek help, we do not understand how the state works within ourselves. We want others, something or some other alternative to alleviate it, lessen it, ease that pain, but in general we never come into direct contact with it, because we are always, based on our thoughts, having ideas of what to do, how to get rid of it, how to overcome, triumph, control it, as here in the question.

So, if you come and say: “Look, I have social anxiety, how to control it?” In general, that is the idea, but it is from ideas that the mind works. We are living based on ideas, beliefs, alternatives that thought creates. So, we are not dealing with what is present as it is, we are with ideas about what it should be. So, we don't get in touch with what is present, but we are left with ideas about what to do with it: get rid of it, overcome it, control it.

So, we spend our entire lives involved with internal states linked to this movement, which is the movement of this egoic consciousness, which is the consciousness of the “I,” without ever really investigating the structure and nature of this movement itself, which is the movement of thought, which is always procrastinating, postponing, trying to find a way to get rid of the pain, which is a fact, which is what it is, based on an idea of ​​what it should be. So, follow this here calmly.

We were educated to run away, educated to escape, to get rid of it, to control it. They never told you that this could end. So much so that we overcome now and then we have to overcome again in the next moment, and then in a third moment and in a fourth moment, and we spend our entire lives overcoming, in reality, without overcoming, because the thing keeps coming back. When anxiety is not about a given thing, it is anxiety about something else.

So, we are not told that we need to eliminate this condition of continuity of thought, of the idea, of the ideal, of the purpose and the objective of overcoming, of getting rid of, of surpassing, of controlling. Here on the channel, we are telling you that this psychological condition, which is present as a present fact of pain, is something that can end when we have a direct comprehension of what it represents. And this comprehension is only possible when we eliminate the idea, the ideal about it. Then, we get closer to what is present and stay with it, we look at it closely, without the separation between what is and what should be.

When you place the idea on what is, there is a separation. There is what is and there is a thought, a concept, a belief, a suggestion, an idea about it. This is how we are procrastinating, postponing, this is how we are running away and escaping. So, we don't have an understanding of the problem, because between what is, between the truth of what is and this idea of ​​what is, notice, there is a gap to surpass, to overcome, to get rid of. This gap is the gap of time.

Throughout our lives, we have been educated to believe, trust and be confident that there is time to accomplish things. We accomplish everything in life based on time. We know that everything takes time, learning a language takes time, doing professional training takes time, building a house takes time, getting ready for a wedding takes time, studying a certain thing and learning it and becoming an expert in that certain area takes time. Everything takes time, and because everything takes time, we also believe that not suffering takes time.

We believe that happiness requires time, peace requires time, love requires time, freedom requires time, truth requires time, because there is this whole idea of ​​finding truth, finding peace, finding happiness, finding love, and all of this is in time. The Reality of Life is not in time, and the Reality of Life entails Freedom, Love, Peace, Happiness and, of course, entails the end of suffering.

The end of suffering is now. It is not about finding this, obtaining this, achieving this, but it requires that you eliminate this time, this time gap between what is and what should be. The problem with us is that we have been educated to live within this model, believing that one day we will be able to control, to overcome. Everything that you control, you have to continue controlling, so as not to lose control. Everything that you gain, you have to continue gaining, otherwise there comes a time when you lose. Everything that you obtain, you have to hold on and sustain, because otherwise one day you may see it slip through your fingers.

Here, when we address the issue of the Awakening of Consciousness, of Spiritual Enlightenment, we are talking to you about a life in full Intelligence, where the understanding of what is, is naturally present; and this understanding of what is, is the mind free from these psychological conditions, where there is a distortion of reality, where the sense of “I,” of the ego is distorting life as it is, having hopes, expectations, desires, goals, and purposes that are very particular, personal and egocentric, coming into conflict with life as it is and, naturally, suffering.

This explains this condition of social anxiety, but also of anguish, depression, fear. Can we discover life in full Freedom, Beauty, Love, now? This requires the elimination of this psychological time. So, this notion in which we were educated to live, raised to maintain ourselves in life like this, this needs to disappear. I refer to this condition where “I am not, but I will be,” “I do not have, but I will have.” “I need something,” so there is this movement towards the future to obtain, to achieve, to accomplish. This naturally puts us in a state of anxiety, of some form of fear, because we are living within a posture, a position of psychological future.

So, there are several unresolved problems present within this psychological condition of being someone. So, this is the condition of the majority of humanity. Now, I say again: practically every human being, unless he has realized the Truth about himself, which is the Divine Life, which is the Life of God, which is the Truth of That which he is in his True Nature, unless this is clear, everyone suffers from fear, worries, problems. There is always one form or another of suffering present, and the solution to all of this lies in the end of the “I,” in the end of the ego.

When there is the end of this psychological time, there is the end of this gap between what is and what should be, then we have life as it shows itself, without the presence of this sense of “I,” of “me,” of the ego and, therefore, of problems. This is our topic here with you on this channel and also on our other channel called “Marcos Gualberto” – you can check it out later, there’s a link here in the video description.

For this purpose, we have online meetings on the weekends. On Saturday and Sunday, we’ll be together delving deeper into this matter with you. You can find our WhatsApp link here in the video description to participate in these meetings. In addition, we have in-person meetings and retreats. If what you just heard is something that makes sense to you, touches you on some level, leave a “like” here, subscribe to the channel and leave a comment here: “Yes, it makes sense.” Okay?

And we’ll see you. Thanks for the meeting and see you soon!

August, 2024
Gravatá-PE, Brazil
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