Alright! We're going to address this matter of suffering. Why do we suffer? That’s a question. Or: what is suffering?
Note one thing here: it’s always “someone” in the experience of suffering. If you are abandoned, rejected, if a relative dies, or if you lose something, or don’t fulfill a certain purpose, certain objectives, certain goals; if somehow you are offended, hurt, suffering is there!
Suffering always needs the “sufferer,” so we always have two things present: the one who suffers and what produces suffering for the one who suffers. So, we always have two things present in suffering.
Suffering doesn’t exist by itself, it exists with “someone,” for “someone;” it happens when “someone” is present. So, notice how interesting is the question “why do we suffer?” We ask this question because: do we want to get rid of suffering, to see an end to suffering, or because we want to solve the problem of suffering? In general, our question is intended to get rid of suffering.
Here, I want to invite you to understand what suffering is, because this is another question. So, before the question “why do we suffer?” we have to ask “what is suffering?”
Suffering is the presence of physical, emotional, psychological discomfort; it’s a psychological pain. Our inclination is to run away from this pain. We want to ease, we want to lessen, we want to escape, to get rid of it. We are not willing to look and verify if an end to suffering is possible.
The end to suffering is what interests us here, in this meeting. And when does the end to suffering occur? When we don't try to explain, run away, escape, or free ourselves... when we recognize that the main element in suffering is not the one who makes us suffer, it’s not what is producing the suffering, but it’s the one... the one in whom the suffering is happening.
For whom is this suffering? Suffering is present because of the one who feels that suffering. This one who feels is the “I,” the “person,” the ego. When you are abandoned, it’s not the abandonment that caused the problem called suffering, but rather the present identity, this “me” feeling the lack, the loss, the loneliness, the pain of being alone. This is the real cause of suffering: the identity of the “I,” the presence of the “I,” the present sense of the “I,” with its attachments, beliefs, its diminished sense of power; it’s always the sense of “I” present in its self-image, which is injured, offended, hurt, for having been rejected, for not having been loved as it expected, desired, as it wanted; it’s the sense of the ego, of the “I,” of “me.”
So, why do we suffer? Because there is an identity present in this experience, in a relationship with the world, expecting, demanding, seeking something from it. This movement is the movement of the egoic mind, of egocentrism, it is the sense of “I” present in the relationship with the world, with the other, with life, which suffers.
So, this psychological suffering, this discomfort, this pain… Over the years, we have become experts in running away. We have several escapes from these psychological pains, always to escape, to alleviate, to explain, to justify to ourselves the presence of this suffering, and we never approach to look at it closely, to go beyond it.
In these meetings, we are working with you on the end of suffering, and the end of suffering is the end of this duality: the one who suffers and what makes him suffer. When this duality comes to an end, because the sense of “I,” of the ego, of this “me,” of this image you have about who you are… when this vanishes, when this disappears, suffering ends. That’s the end of suffering!
Therefore, it’s not about getting rid of suffering. We cannot approach these psychological problems within this ancient and old format, wanting relief, explanation, reduction, liberation, without first having an understanding of what this, in fact, represents, what it means.
These psychological problems, these psychological pains... these various ways of escape from psychological pain... this is what we’ve been doing, this is what we have been doing over the years, and this suffering never ends, because there’s no end to suffering since this suffering implies the presence of the “I,” the ego, of “me,” of this “sufferer.”
The problem with dealing with suffering is that we are always transferring it from this “me,” this “I,” to the object that makes us suffer. We are always explaining, justifying, accusing something, the other and the world for our suffering. The illusion in us says that he makes us suffer; the illusion in us says: “I’m suffering because I lost something,” “I’m suffering because I was rejected,” “I’m suffering because I’m not accepted.” There are a million reasons why we are suffering, and it’s always something outside that causes this suffering.
Looking at the Truth about who we are here and now, realizing that this sense of “I” in its isolationism, its self-protectionism, the search for security, self-preservation of its self-image, seeing that envy, possession, control, attachment, desire and fear are not something created by what is outside, but by this, by this background of conditioning we carry within ourselves, which presents itself as this “I” …
When we start assuming this, looking at this “me,” this “I,” we stop looking outside, we stop accusing the external world, pointing to elements external to ourselves as the culprits of this suffering. When we just watch, we become aware of it. This look is enough... When that is present, that suffering immediately undergoes a profound change, a profound alteration.
Notice what we're saying. It’s not introspection, it’s not self-assessment, you're not judging yourself, not comparing yourself, blaming yourself, you're just realizing that this background of present conditioning... it’s when it separates that it sustains this condition of suffering.
When you don't separate yourself from that background, you realize that it’s you. And it’s just you, there’s nothing out there, it has nothing to do with the other. This suffering is no longer a suffering; it is the verification of a present energy. Because now it doesn't separate, doesn't divide itself, so the sufferer doesn't appear. If the sufferer doesn’t appear, it’s just that energy; the suffering is no longer present.
In general, we sustain suffering because we are always, from this background of psychological conditioning, creating this sense of separateness, this duality: “I and what makes me suffer.” Now I can no longer use the expression “I'm suffering,” because there is no longer what makes me suffer, there’s only this energy, this way this feeling, emotion, and sensation present themselves. There’s no longer any form of escape from this psychological pain. It’s when suffering ends since the sufferer ended; we are no longer reinforcing that sense of “someone” present.
In a practical way: when a loved one dies, this is a fact! If there is a pain present, it is the pain, here and now, of attachment, annoyance, revolt, fear of loneliness, fear of separation… I keep with this energy, I stay with this fear. If I keep with this fear, if I keep with this energy, the very expression “fear,” the name “fear,” no longer makes sense; it’s a pain present, a discomfort present. As there’s no longer this sense of separateness, this duality, I can get closer to that, to what I am here and now. It no longer has anything to do with the pain of separation, it has nothing to do with the death of the other, it no longer has anything to do with an image here hurt by someone, offended by someone.
Then, there comes an entirely new energy. This is no longer at the service of this false center, this “I.” Then, there’s a complete change! The sufferer ends, the suffering ends since that sense of separateness, the sense of duality has ended.
This requires Self-Awareness, looking at yourself, at every feeling that arises and not transferring it outward. The feeling is present here, in what I am, because this feeling is what I am, there’s no other, there’s no one, there’s not the world being the cause of it. This is coming from an inner psychological background, and now I can look at this thing. I don't even give it a name. I look at that feeling, that emotion, that sensation, and there’s a complete change; that’s when the end to suffering comes, that’s when the end comes to that “I,” to that ego.
Since childhood, we have acted differently. We were never shown this! We were never shown that the other is an idea within “me,” on which, psychologically, emotionally, sentimentally, I live in a deep dependence – on [their] approval, on [their] rejection… This is the cause, here, of fear, of suffering, and now I’m breaking with that model, breaking with that sense of ego-identity in the experience, in my relationships. Relationships are taking place, but not in this egoic background, in this ego-identity background, where desire, fear and suffering have established their roots, because the sense of “I” is not being reinforced, not being fed.
So, I'm here learning to deal with every feeling, emotion, thought, with whatever is arising here and now, without running away, without explaining, without trying to get rid of it. Then, there comes the end of this ego-identity.
This way of approaching what appears here and now, without placing a present identity in this experience, for any situation, event, occurrence, accident, incident, requires a State of Presence, of Intelligence, which I’ve called True Mindfulness, a quality of Self-Attention, a direct look at whatever is arising without separating from it.
So, we contact Self-Awareness, because whatever is inside, in that psychological background, in that psychological conditioning, begins to reveal itself within these relationships with people, with the world, with the situations around us – that is Self-Awareness.
In this Mindfulness, this sense of “I and the other” is revealed and there’s a break, there’s a break in that, a break in that separateness, then there’s Freedom: the Freedom of Intelligence since your Natural State of Meditation flourishes, which represents the end of suffering, and also the end of fear, desire, and attachments, of the various forms of emotional dependence. This is the end of the various forms of escape from psychological pain, because there are no longer opportunities for the ego to sustain itself in these experiences, separating itself, creating this illusion of “someone” who is suffering because of something else outside or someone, making him suffer.
Do you see what we mean?
This is the subject we are dealing with on this channel. This requires a deepening, a work on oneself. We are doing it here, on this channel, and also in meetings, showing you this – in face-to-face and online meetings, and also, in retreats to work through this together.
This is the possibility of the Awakening of Consciousness, of your Natural State of Spiritual Enlightenment or Spiritual Awakening.
If this is something that makes sense to you, take the opportunity, leave your “like,” subscribe to the channel and let’s work on it together. Ok?
See you!
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