Here, the question is: how to deal with the pain of loneliness? First, we have to look directly at what we call “being alone” in this sense of pain, so that we can, in fact, investigate the truth about it. When people talk about the pain of loneliness, when the present idea is the idea of having been abandoned or suffering from being alone, this needs to be seen. What element is this, present, that sustains a present pain when you are alone, without company, without relationships? Wouldn't this element be an element that has actually been within this self-centeredness for a long time? Even if one spent moments in good company, were these good companies present, causing him, at that moment, a self-forgetfulness of the fact that, in fact, he was alone, that he had always been alone?
Note where we want to go with you in this talk: you can only feel this pain of loneliness, in fact, noticing a pain that is now revealing itself, here, as something present, but that has always been there... but in a certain way, you've never realized the presence of this pain. Notice how much we need to investigate all of this. We spend a lifetime involved with all kinds of palliative, illusory solutions to situations or problems that are present, but we never pay attention to their presence. So, notice here where we are pointing when we are investigating this matter with you.
We carry a feeling – note, this is something present in every human being –, it is a feeling of incompleteness, of dissatisfaction, of missing something. This occurs due to a pattern, a format of being someone that we have, that we present ourselves to be, that we are in life, that lives within an isolationism. We are already isolated from each other, as people. See, we need to realize this isolationism that this “I,” the person, is living. Perhaps, for you, the pain is the pain of loneliness, for another it is the pain of frustration, for another it is the pain of disappointment, the pain of rejection.
So, everyone experiences pain, and this pain is in this center, which is the “I.” We have countless names for this pain of the “I,” this “me,” this ego, the person as we see ourselves, the person we believe ourselves to be. Someone would call the pain “depression,” another would call the pain of “fear,” “anguish,” “guilt.” The difference is how thought represents this pain, but it is a pain inherent to this isolationist sense of the “I,” the ego. Your question is: “How to deal with the pain of loneliness?” but it could be: “How to deal with the pain of the ‘I,’ this ‘me,’ this person?”
There comes a time when nothing can lessen, diminish, alleviate, or make us forget the pain that is present in this sense of separation. It is the pain of separation between you and life, between you and God. There is no pain other than this, the pain that human beings feel is the pain of separation between them and life, between them and God. How to deal with the feeling of being rejected in love? How to deal with being rejected by someone? Note, we are always dealing with a pain present in this sense of “I.”
Here we are observing this movement that is the movement of thought, which has situated us as people in time, living life today as someone walking towards the future. The notion we have of the existence of someone present is someone who came from the past, had wonderful experiences yesterday and today is no longer having those experiences, they only have memories of yesterday at this moment. So, we are always living in this time, that is the past as a reference, and in the projection of a future based on past experiences, which have already gone, in the idea of being someone living in the present moment, moving towards a future moment. And at this present moment, something is missing, and that something is someone.
So, human beings have this feeling of wanting to become something or become someone, or achieve something, or reach or discover someone who can fulfill them, who can satisfy them, who can make them forget this separatist sense of duality and isolationist of the “I.” Are you with me? Can we approach this pain without any idea? The idea that it shouldn't be here, notice, it is the illusion of someone, already separating oneself from the pain to do something with it. The question itself already implies the presence of this duality. When you ask, “How to deal with loneliness?” – in your question what is implied is not the problem itself of being alone, it is the problem of not being able to do something with the pain of being alone, of wanting to know how to do something with the pain of being alone. So, there is pain and there is you – notice – which is totally illusory, because the presence of pain is you. You are the presence of pain, there is no separation between the pain and the one in the pain – it is very basic, it is very simple. When there is pain present, there is no one in the pain, there is only pain, that pain is someone, there is no one in the pain.
Our way of approaching experience is completely wrong because we believe that the experience exists and is separate from the person who is experiencing the experience. But when there is experience, living the experience is the experience in living of the one who lives it. When there is experience, there is experience only in the one who lives the experience. So, the one who lives the experience is the experience, there is no separation. When pain is present, it is pain. The way we have to approach every experience is completely wrong. Try observing what we are putting here for you: when there is fear, there is no “you” feeling fear, there is fear, the fear is you; there is no space between you and fear.
The moment it occurs, at that very moment of fear, there is no separation, it is a thought that appears some time later, after a few seconds or minutes and this thought says: “I can't feel this, I have to get rid of this, I have to do something with this.” See, it is a projection of thought regarding what the experience represents, it is a portrait, it is an image that thought forms about the experience. Notice how important it is to understand this. To discover what it is to be free from fear means discovering what it means to be “free from the experiencer,” because the experiencer is experience itself. “How to deal with loneliness?” It is not possible to deal with loneliness without having a direct approach to what the experiencer is, because the experiencer is loneliness.
In an experiential, clear, practical way of approaching, it is by becoming aware of the pain without separating yourself. Allow this pain to be understood, to reveal itself completely. When it reveals itself completely, without the element that wants to get rid of, do something, reject... When this pain reveals itself completely, the experiencer reveals itself, which is this center, which is the “I,” in this isolationism, sustaining the illusion of separation between oneself and experience. When we have such approach to the experience without the experiencer, we have the end of experience. So, this pain vanishes because it is not being fed, it is not receiving the continuity of this “I” in the pain, this experiencer in the experience, this one who separates oneself to observe and have ideas of what to do with the experience. Are you with me?
When this is present, there comes the end of this ego, this “me,” this “I,” and that is the end of the experience, because, at that moment, the approach to this attention over this instant reveals the end to this separation, to this element that isolates itself and finds itself in need of something. So, this is the end of the “I,” this is the end of the ego, this is the end of the experiencer, this is the end of pain, of this isolationism. It needs to be clear, for each of us, how the human mind works, because this is within the project of this mind. The mind has lived in this condition for millennia, creating this separation, being the experiencer of experiences, being the thinker of thoughts, being this “I” of the “non-I.” We carry the illusion of the other to fulfill “me.” Then, there is this illusory psychological condition – notice this – of being someone.
This model of the human mind is what we call “conscious and unconscious mind.” Once you approach this look at what the mind represents, you have the possibility of an emptying of all this content that sustains this notion of time, of past, present and future, that is within this mind, which created this separation between conscious and unconscious, in this idea that we are someone present. This someone is the consciousness of the “I,” it is this egoic consciousness, it is this sense of being someone, seeing oneself separate from life, separate from experiences, separate from God. Alright?
Here, in these meetings, we investigate the end to suffering, to the suffering of this conscious and this so-called “unconscious mind,” which, actually, is one single mind, which is the egoic mind, which is the mind of the “ I.” So, there is something that reveals itself beyond the mind, beyond the “I,” beyond the ego, beyond this isolationism, that sustains this separation and, therefore, some form of pain, some form of conflict and suffering. Here, a contact with the Reality of your Being is a contact with Happiness, with the Truth of Real Consciousness; this is the Reality of your Being. In your Being, in your Real Consciousness, which is Happiness, there is this Completeness. None of these conditions of suffering, of disorder, of problems, are present when the Reality of your Being, which is the Reality of God, is present.
So, this is what we work on here with you, within this channel, and also on our other channel called “Marcos Gualberto.” You have here, in the video description, our link to find the other channel. Additionally, we have online meetings that take place on weekends. Saturday and Sunday we are together delving deeper into this here, with you. Through questions and answers, we are pointing out to you the Reality of the Awakening of Consciousness, of the Realization of the Divine Truth, which is the Realization of God. Here in the video description, we have the WhatsApp link for you to participate in these meetings that take place on Saturdays and Sundays. OK? In addition, we have face-to-face meetings and also retreats. If what you have just heard is something that makes sense to you, here is the invitation, go ahead, leave your “like” here, subscribe to the channel and please write it down here in the comment: “Yes, it makes sense.” And we'll see each other. Thanks for the meeting and see you next time.
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