The issue of internal order. Let's talk about it. We want to have an external life in order, balanced, calm, and at peace. However, there is no internal order, inner balance, inner peace. What is the importance of this psychological order within us? What is psychological order? And what is the importance of this?
It is necessary to order yourself internally, to carry this internal authority of psychological Freedom. We have a restless mind, we do not have an organized mind, there is no Silence within us. There is nothing as important as Silence. How do we deal with thought? What is thought in each of us? We don't have a silent brain. So, we need to discover how we work, we need this internal order, we need to discover how thought processes within each of us.
Notice that thought is restless. Realize that thought is in a movement of internal restlessness, it is always moving from one subject to another, it is always moving within you, and with it you get confused, with it you identify. So, you don't separate yourself from it, you feel like you are it, and if it changes from one subject to another, you internally are constantly changing from one subject to another, from one state to another, from one feeling to the next, from one emotion to another. Just as thinking changes, feeling changes, and we are not aware of how we work.
We don't realize that between one thought and another there is a space, and it's strange for you to hear that. Some of us – in fact, the majority – are not even aware of what we are talking about here, that there is a space between one thought and another. You never see that space, you never notice that between one feeling and another there is a space, between one emotion and another emotion there is a space, between one sensation and another sensation there is a space. In general, we don't realize this. This requires a certain awareness of oneself, a certain observation of how you work.
In general, human beings do not pay attention to themselves. They have to work, they have to earn money, they have to pay their bills, they have to take their children to school, they have to accomplish a lot of things outside of themselves. And all thoughts that revolve around the human being, revolve within this purpose, which is the purpose of ordering and placing the external life in a certain way that there is fulfillment and satisfaction for them.
So, we go through life, after forty, seventy years, we start a family, we raise children, we already have grandchildren, but we never observe ourselves, how we work. And because we don't observe ourselves, we don't know what Consciousness is. We are always aware of things, but it is this “I” that is aware of what is around it, it is this “I” filling itself in the things that are around it. This is complete unconsciousness. We are not aware of ourselves, we cannot see this space between one thought and another, between one feeling and another, between one emotion and another emotion. There is no Silence, there is no Stillness, there is no Freedom, there is no Truth in our lives. So, we walk to the grave in a totally unconscious way.
When you come to these meetings, we are here looking at something different. Life is happening out there and you are becoming aware of the inner movement of the “I.” You are becoming aware of the movement of thought, of feeling, of emotion, you are investigating yourself, you are studying yourself, you are finding that psychological order, you are discovering the truth about yourself, you are getting in touch with Something outside of the known, you are coming into contact with Reality. Each person gives a certain name to this Reality, but the names do not matter, what matters is the Truth of this Reality revealing itself. This is the awareness of who You are. So now there is Peace, then now there is Freedom, then now there is Truth, then now there is understanding in your life, because there is psychological order, physical order, emotional, sentimental order. You are living the Truth because you are aware of the Truth about who You are.
So, in these meetings we are studying this, studying ourselves, understanding how we work, realizing what this is, what this disorder is, what this confusion is, why life has been like this. So, approaching this psychological order, this emotional, sentimental order, this order of life requires approaching the investigation of disorder, this internal disorder. What is thought? What is emotion? What is feeling? What is this that happens in our relationships? Why am I hurt, offended, upset? What is this anger? What is this fear? What is this inner chatter? Why all the fuss? Why this thing of going from one thought to another? And I don't even notice that this is happening. Why all this?
So, this approach to looking at yourself is the Truth of knowing yourself. So, knowing yourself is getting closer to Meditation. Looking at what is happening inside you is Self-awareness. So, the Truth of this Self-awareness brings you closer to Meditation, and Meditation is becoming aware of this space, of what this interval represents between one thought and another, between one feeling and another, one sensation and another, one emotion and another. Meditation is being disidentified from the mind and body, in the awareness of the Truth of That which is in this Unknown, in this space that opens up within this Attention, where this interval is found.
Notice how interesting this is. When you look at a musical score, you think you are in front of sound, but a musical score has the design of spaces of silence that represent time of stillness. So, between one sound and another, you are faced with this space of silence, this time of silence. So, those figures show a time of silence. So, the sound makes sense, a beautiful sense. But, when there is this space, it is the space of silence between one note and another that determines the beauty of the sound, the beauty of the music. The totality of music is in sound and silence. So, pauses of silence are as important as musical notes. The notes have a timing and the pauses have a timing, so there is the totality of the song.
In our life, there will only be Beauty, there will only be Truth, there will only be Love when we are in this Totality of Life, and there is no Totality of Life if you are in this mind, in this psychological mind, in this restless mind, in this egoic mind, in this condition of psychological disorder. There is no Totality of Life if there is no Silence, if you are not aware of Silence.
When you realize the Truth of your Being, the talk, the look and the thinking are born from Silence. Note that you don't know how to think. You don't know what it's like to think. It's a big illusion that you think. Thoughts are processed in you, but it is exactly as we said just now: a thought that is associated with another, that is associated with another, that is associated with another. There is no awareness of space between one thought and another. This occurs in your brain in an automatic, mechanical, unconscious way, without any awareness of what is happening to you. So, you don't think. There is no “you” in this thought, there is only thought, there is only this unconsciousness, mechanicalness, restlessness, there is only this inner chatter. This is psychological disorder in us.
So, we don't know what the Totality of Life is because we don't understand how we function, we don't know what thought is, how it processes and what thinking is. There is no thinking from Silence, there is no looking from Silence, we do not have a very clear, objective, lucid, Real life. We don't live this Totality of Being who we are, we don't know the music. We make a lot of noise, but it's a disorderly thing. It is not harmony. They call it cacophony – it’s all that noise. It's not an orchestra. It's a mess, it's a confusion. That's how we work. The “I” works like this, the ego is this.
So, we lack this Totality of Life, this Beauty of Life, because there is no psychological order, there is no emotional order, there is no order of feelings, there is no order of thoughts. There is no order. The understanding of who we are, the end of all this confusion, all this disorder of sound, all this noise, this internal orchestration – what I called just now as ordering oneself –, being aware of That which is You, aware of the Truth of your Being. So, what do we have now? God Realization, the Realization of Truth, the Realization of your Natural State of Being. This is order. This is music. This is Silence.
So, what do we do here together? We are studying who we are, studying what is happening inside each of us, we are looking at how we work, becoming aware of it. If this is not present, we are in confusion, we are in suffering, we have all these frames of internal unhappiness, because there is no psychological order, there is no Freedom, there is no Being, there is no Consciousness, there is no music. We know this unhappiness. Anxiety, anguish, boredom, loneliness, fear, different fears that we have, every type of internal state of suffering is present when you do not understand the Truth of your Being, when you do not assume That.
So, that's the topic here, okay?
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