Today, we will delve into the fundamental matter of Love. I see a closeness, something very intimate between Love and death. We don't really know what Love is. For us, love is an experience of sensation. Look at what we're saying here. This association of the word “love” with an experience of sensation is something very strong in us – it's been like this since we were children. Every kind of caress, affection and touch we have received, which gives us some form of pleasure, this pleasure is a sensation. A child has been receiving this from a very young age.
The association in our brain, in our intellect is that caress, affection, pleasure, which is a mere sensation, we associate with the word “love.” So, “the one who gives it to me is the one who loves me.” Then, our conditioned brains are always relating a sensation of pleasure, of fulfillment, of satisfaction to this thing called “love.” Is that what love is? Is love a feeling?
A sensation is within the feeling, but the thought also carries the feeling. Notice that when you have a memory, it is a thought, but it's a thought that also carries a feeling. A thought carries a feeling. So, in general, we associate all this sensation of pleasure, feeling of pleasure, with this thing called “love.” Then, we use the expression “love” without knowing what it means.
But human beings are very curious because they are very interesting beings. Not only the word “love,” but also the words “God,” “truth,” “freedom,” all of which have associations within us; associations of sensations, feelings and emotions. So, we believe we know what the word “God” means because there is a strong sensation involved.
In our culture, where there is this general belief in God, from an early age we grew up listening to songs, phrases, poetry, lectures, and there was this word “God.” So, the religious life we receive is very much associated with that word. Thus, our experience of sensation, emotion and feeling in relation to this word is very strong, then, we have the illusion that we know God because it moves us, creates a sensation, a particular feeling. It's the same with the word “love,” with the word “freedom.” Especially for those who are within political conditioning or within a certain philosophical training, the word “freedom” has a strong impact on them. The same is true of the word God for religious people.
We can't deny the Reality of Freedom, Love or God, but we can't associate these words with what we believe in – and that's what we've been doing. So, we think we know what Love is. In fact, all we know is conditioning, a specific way of thinking linked to a feeling of pure psychological conditioning, pure physical conditioning too, at the level of feeling, sensation and emotion.
Now, I ask you: what is Love? Will it be this love we know the Truth of Love? Will this “God,” which is a word for us, linked to a sensation, will that be what God is, a word linked to a sensation? “I love you!” What does that mean? Actually, if you take a closer look, you'll see that by “I love you,” what I really mean is that you give me pleasure, that you satisfy me, at least for the moment, that you fulfill me in some way. What I really mean is “I want you,” “I need you.”
Does love need something? The sensation needs to be fulfilled. I don't know if you've noticed this, that when we have a desire, which is actually a sensation, it's always looking for a form of fulfillment. When that sensation is denied, a desire is rejected in “me,” for “me,” I get upset, I get angry. If you don't fulfill my satisfaction, if you don't fulfill my desire, if you don't fulfill that sensation I'm looking for in you, I don't love you anymore, I get angry, you bore me now, I'll leave you for someone else. Where's the love?
Love is present while you fulfill me, while my sensations are satisfied. Do you get what we're saying? That's the game. So, when I ask you: do you love your wife? You most certainly say: “Yes, I love her.” Don't be upset with me, but if she cheats on you, what will happen to that love? Will there be anger, a desire for what? What will your reaction be? Will love be there? How long will it be there? Do you get what we're saying?
So, what do we find in a wife? A companion, an accomplice in our confusion, our pain, our fear, our desire. She is my accomplice as long as she is part of “my world.” What is “my world”? An exclusive world of this “me” that I believe I am, I appear to be, I show myself to be, full of demands; and one of them is to be loved, and to be loved is to be satisfied emotionally, physically, affectively, psychologically and sexually. If one of these things is missing, love goes down the drain.
There is no love. What exists between us are sensations. If you fill my “I,” my ego, give me pleasure, satisfaction, a pleasant sensation, “I love you,” until.... So, that's how it always works. We don't know what love is, we know what attachment is. An object that gives me pleasure, I cling to it because it satisfies me. This applies to any level of object. I said exactly that: for any level of object. So, at any level... The levels of objects seem to be different, but from the viewpoint of this so-called “love,” which is the search for sensation in this experience, all these objects for “me,” for this “I” are just objects. You say “No, it's special”. It depends on your perspective.
We're always dealing with objects because that's the position of the subject. Verify this, look inside yourself, observe the truth of these relationships we have with each other, observe this clearly and you'll see. A car gives us satisfaction, fulfillment and a sensation, but it's not sexual. So, the difference lies in the sensation that objects cause us and what we expect from each object. I know it's not very much... it's not even tolerable to hear it passively, without getting upset, but that's exactly how it is. The difference between objects is the sensations they bring us and how much they fulfill us egoically, in this self-centeredness. We call this “love.” Notice that here.
We don't know what love is because we don't know what death is. You will know what Love is when you discover what death is, what it is to die to any and all experience. So, sensation is present, there is a moment of pleasure, but the pleasure is released, the sensation loses its importance because this “I” disappears when death happens within the experience. Then, it's in this sense that I use the word “death” here. Dying for each moment, that means a life free of the “I,” of this self-centeredness. Thus, your relationship with your wife, with your children, with your objects will be an entirely new relationship since there will be freedom.
Freedom is present because death is present. So, if we want to discover what Love is, we must never confuse this; don't confuse sensation, pleasure, fulfillment, don't confuse this in this mind that seeks this. The presence of Love is the absence of the mind, of this mind that seeks sensation, that seeks fulfillment in experiences, that is internally dependent, that is externally dependent. Internally it is psychologically: “I remember her, I miss her, I love her.” “I remember her, I miss her because she satisfies me, she's all I need for this moment”: desire reigns supreme.
When desire is present, the image of the other is present, then “I love her.” Can you love people you don't remember? If I say, do you love your wife? The image of the wife comes. Is there the presence of a wife without the memory of a wife? There is a sensation. What is an image? What is a thought? A memory. Do you love your wife? You'll say: “I used to.” And why do you say “I did”? Because before you were cheated on, you loved her. You see? The memory you have of her now, where's the love?
So, notice: what we call “love” is associated with memory, with thoughts. What is the truth of all this? The “I” doesn't know what love is, humans don’t know what death is. They don't know anything at all. They don't know who God is, but they say “my God,” just like the other person says “my love.” Is love a personal thing? Is it a particular thing, associated with that sensation that, when fulfilled, leaves me relaxed and tranquil, and when denied, makes me irritable and greatly upset? What is the truth of all this?
You don't know what Love is. You don't know who God is. You don't know who the other is. You don't know who you are. But religious people say, Jesus said: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Yes, what Jesus said is perfect. What is not complete is what we do with what Jesus said. What is not complete is what we make of what Jesus said. We don't know what Jesus said, but we have ideas about it. Can you love your neighbor? Can you love your neighbor? The question is: who are you? Without discovering the Truth of this Love that You are, what does it mean to love your neighbor as yourself? Do you get that?
If you don't know what it means to love yourself, how can you love your neighbor as yourself? We think it's beautiful, we associate it with feelings of care, affection and renunciation for others. What's behind all this? What are we hiding behind all this? What kind of interest do we carry? What kind of search for fulfillment are we looking for? Perhaps they aren't so declared, but in a subtle way there is a so-called “spiritual” interest, which also represents a much more particular form of sensation for the ego in this so-called “love,” associated with care, appreciation and affection for the other, which is nothing more than charity.
Love is not charity, Love is not the sensation of feeling better about yourself because you're making someone else happy. Maybe you'll say: “No, there's no selfishness there, the ego isn't involved in this, this is unconditional love.” Is that true? Listen to this: is that true? Have you ever noticed how happy you feel when you make someone else happy? Are you doing it to make them happy or are you doing it because it feels good to be good? It's good to be good, it makes you happy to do good. Do you get that?
So, it doesn't matter whether this so-called “love” has these external, apparently crude aspects of a purely egoic, personal, declared search for fulfillment or whether this search for fulfillment is veiled, hidden, disguised in the application of so-called “spiritual” principles because Jesus said so, Buddha said so, or Krishna said so. Are you all right? Do you follow me?
So, what is Love? Love is that which is present when the “I,” the ego is not present. Then, we need to discover what it is to die within the experience of pain and pleasure, then we can discover something beyond the mind, beyond sensation, beyond fulfillment, beyond pleasure, beyond objects, beyond things, beyond the world, beyond the person. Thus, the other is no longer there, no longer present. The other is me. This is the presence of Love – “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
If the sense of ego is not present, the Truth of Love is present, and this Love is not the other, this Love is the presence of Reality. So, the Truth about your Being is the Truth about Being, and here there is no other. This is fulfilling what Jesus said. The vision of Truth is the vision of Love. This vision is present when the “I” is not present, when the ego is not present. This is Love, this is death, this is Life, this is God, this is Freedom, this is Happiness.
Notice, we use these words very widely, associated with all kinds of things, and none of it is Real. And here we are saying that we are dealing with a Single Reality. Realize your Being, Realize God, be Still. Discover the Truth about This, let This take its place in the body, in the mind, and Love will be present there. Before that, it's a journey of the “I” itself in this illusion of knowing things and knowing their truth. It's all false. Okay? Shall we stop here? That's it!
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