So, the thing that really matters for us to realize is: this Understanding of Truth, of the death of illusion – and the only thing that can die is illusion – we are dealing with the death of the illusion of this “I.” This word “death” is a word that scares, it scares a lot because it takes you to the end of something. But the truth about it is that we never experience the Beauty of the end of things. Our movement is always this movement of acquiring, possessing, keeping, accumulating, and having. We always have the idea that the more we have – because we have acquired and now we accumulate – the more secure we feel.
Here, when we deal with the end of this psychological memory, something that I have called “memory complexity” or “complex memory,” we have two types of memory. We have simple memory, the memory we use technically, technologically, functionally, in our lives, and we have complex memory, which is the psychological memory. To be offended by someone is to have kept the memory of him or her as being someone who doesn't like you, him or her being someone who mistreated you. This is a simple example of complex memory, of psychological memory. Our life in the “I,” our life in the ego… this is the life of the ego, it is memory. So, is it really possible to no longer carry this “I” and, therefore, this complex memory, which is the memory of this ego-identity?
In other words, would it be interesting for you to live without being offended, without getting hurt, without getting upset, without feeling sad with anyone? Would it be interesting for you not to depend on the other's appreciation or rejection to have a position on who the other is? In other words, would it be interesting for you to live without an image of others? In a relationship between a couple, would it be interesting for you to have a relationship with your wife without ever having any psychological disgust, sadness, anger, irritation, or demanding that she be different from how she is so that you can feel good in this relationship? Would it be interesting to live without images of people? Would it be interesting for you to live without any image of yourself? In other words, not having anything to defend regarding the way others see you? Regarding what they think about you, what they say about you? About whether they like you or not?
This is what I have called “the death of the ‘I’.” A life free from the sense of someone present, within this moment, in this relationship with the other. This is the end of this complex memory, this complexity of memory, which is the memory of the “I.” It is this memory of the “I” that has beliefs and disbeliefs. It is this memory of the “I” that uses expressions such as: “I think,” “I think that,” “for me this is not important.” We are always with this “me,” with this “I,” with our opinions, with our beliefs, with our disbeliefs. All of this is part of this “I,” the illusion of this ego-identity.
An interesting thing about this ego-identity is also the fact that it feels like an entity present that carries a very peculiar, very unique, very singular individuality, which is not true. Because everything you feel, think, believe or don't believe is something common to everyone. There is no sense of separate individuality, there is no real sense of someone present within this experience. All we have is a set of memories and an unconscious ability, but very present in this brain, to be constantly evaluating, judging, comparing, and forming new images from relationships.
So, we are always giving continuity to the “I”, to the ego, to this complex memory, this sense of someone present. And that is conflict, that is suffering. This quality of life in the “I,” in the ego, is ignorance. Then, when we approach this work on ourselves, this vision of the truth about who we are, we come across this “I,” this way of relating to the moment, always from this center that is forming images, supporting ideas, having opinions, and always evaluating. And this makes us complex people, it makes us people with this pattern of living, centered on the “I.” We have not yet discovered the beauty of allowing experience without the mind. It is the presence of the mind that makes experience something we keep, we record.
So, we are always giving continuity to this recorded past, this stored memory, this image that the “I” has of itself in its relationship with others. We are always giving continuity to this past. What is this death of the “I”? What is ego death? It's the end of the past. Then, it's this present moment, where the experience has lost its importance because the mind is not present. Follow that: the Presence of the Truth of What is you, not what appears to be you: this is the end of the present mind, which represents the end of experience. Thus, you are before experiencing. When meeting someone, experiencing is so Real, there is such Mindfulness, such a true Presence, of full Consciousness, of full Attention, that the experience has lost its importance. The recording of that experience has lost its importance, so experiencing is significant. This is what I have called the death of the “I,” ego death.
It's worth saying here that this is now, always at this moment. So, you are always before something new, because there is no “I,” there is no experiencer, there is no more importance in this experience. It's just experiencing. And in this experiencing, the sense of “I” is not present, the sense of the ego does not show itself, the experience has lost its importance. Experiencing is significant, the moment is significant, this instant is unique, there is no “I.” You have moments like this, where experiencing is meaningful. Experience loses its importance because the experiencer has no importance there, where the mind does not enter there. When you are before a sunset, or walking on a trail, just walking, or looking at the forest, the smell of the trees, the breeze blowing... the mind is not present, the experiencer is not present, there is just this moment. This is experiencing. The ego does not register it, there is nothing to register! It cannot take possession of it, the ego has no sexual interest in it, no emotional interest in it, no sentimental interest in it, no intellectual interest in it. It cannot acquire this moment. At that instant, there is no “I.” This is the moment of ego death: the moment of pure experiencing without the experiencer, without the mind, without the own observer.
The observer in us is the one who observes and separates itself to record. The observer in us works like a camera. The camera is here and the object is there, what the camera does is separate itself to record. This is how the ego works. This “I,” this observer, this experiencer, is like this in your life. When you meet people, you live that experience and record those experiences so that when you meet that person again with that background you already bring within, you know how to position yourself in that relationship. All of this occurs in our relationships with each other, because the ego carries fear, it feels insecure and it wants to control the experience. That's why it comes into experiencing, it comes in to register. So, it is like a camera that is always photographing and recording.
When you are on a trail, when you are before a sunset, sitting on a rock... the sea, the sunlight shining on the waters, the waves come with their foam and hit those rocks... there is only the look, only the moment, there is only experiencing. There is no record, there is no such camera. Do you get that? At that moment, Something is present, this Something is not the “I.” There is no separation because there is no camera, no record, no observer. The thing observed and the one who observes are just one Reality. The rock, the one sitting on the rock, the sea foam returning after having hit the rocks, it's just not an experience anymore, it's a Real experiencing, because it's not recorded, so the “I” is not present.
A life in relationship with husband, wife, boss, employees, in living, moment by moment, without the “I,” without the mind, without the observer, without camera, without record, is a free life. This is the death of the “I,” the ego death. That's the end of this complex memory. So, it is contact with life in its totality. So, you can make use of your memory in a very simple way. You can even remember that you were on that beach, that that moment occurred, but it no longer carries a background of demand, it is no longer the moment that the ego sustains, that the “I” was able to capture, that this “me” would now be saying: “It’s mine, I have to go back to that beach again and feel that same thing.” This doesn't happen, because the ego wasn't there, there was no record! It was just a moment gone! Do you get what we are saying? (laughs)
Life at this instant is happening this way. You don't need to be on the edge of a beach, before a sunset. You are before people, in a relationship with people, in a relationship with this moment, without registering, without this complex memory that the “I” demands, that the “I” seeks to maintain its continuity. Alright? So, what is the Truth of your Being? It is this Presence of this Reality of this Pure Consciousness, this Real Consciousness, when the mind is not present. And here, of course, I refer to this egoic mind. When the “I” is not there, when the record is not there, when the experience loses its importance. Then, your Natural State of Being reveals itself. This is the approach to Meditation. Put this in evidence, here and now, at this moment. You don't need to be on the edge of a beach, you don't need to be before a sunset, you are here and now! A thought arises, a feeling, a face, a person, whatever is occurring around you. This “I” is dispensable, this record is dispensable, this internal movement of unconsciousness that makes you value the experience in order to capture it, is not needed.
So, in these meetings, we are getting closer to the Truth about Meditation. And Meditation is here and now, it requires nothing but being here and now, without record, without the “I,” without the ego. You might say, “And what’s that like?” Attention! Full Attention to this moment. No ambition, no desire to capture, no intention of carrying it to a moment later. Then, there is no record. We can spend a whole life, but a life in the “I” is a life in death. A life free from the “I” is a Real Life in the Truth of Being, in the Divine Truth, in the Truth of God. This is Self-Realization, this is Realization of God. Simple memory is present, but psychological memory is not. The simple memory is present, but the memory of the “I” is not. And that is the end of illusion, the end of every form of complication, suffering, fear, and desire. This is the end of the “I,” this is the Freedom of Being, this is the Freedom of God. This is the Realization of God, this is Love, this is Happiness. Here is the Truth, here is your Being. And that's it. OK?
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