Here, the question is: how to deal with insecurity in a relationship? In this relationship that you have with yourself, in the relationship that you have with others, in the relationship that you have with situations that occur, that happen, with the moments that life presents, in these relationships that we have problems. The various problems are present within these relationships.
Human life consists, in this psychological format of being, as we know it, of problems. We cannot break away from this. There is no way to break with this without breaking with this element that comes from the past. Life here, in this instant, in this moment, contact with people in this instant, with situations here and now, with occurrences, events and happenings arising at this exact moment, these do not constitute problems. None of these are, in fact, a problem.
Problem arises when this element, which sees itself separate from what is present here, at this moment, appears. This element is this element that comes from the past. So, we have to investigate the nature of the “I,” this “me,” this person that we are, because it is this person that comes from the past. Your name is something that comes from the past, your story is something that comes from the past, your remembrances and memories come from the past.
Therefore, your contact with your wife – and there is disagreement, there is conflict, there is a problem in this relationship –, your contact with him or her, with your husband, with your son or with someone else is a contact where conflict is present, and it is present because you, as a person, what you bring to this moment, in this contact, is the past, it is the memory of him or her. You are never in real contact with what is present here, at this moment. Your contact is from a look, from a perspective, from a vision, that comes from the past.
Therefore, there is a curtain between this present moment, what is here, in this moment, and you, since, as a person, as someone, you are this element, which is nothing other than a set of memories, recollections, remembrances and images of occurrences, situations, events, and other relationships that you have had with him or her. Let us understand this here very clearly.
The memory you have gives you the identity of who you are: it's simple. All this memory that you represent, that you are at this moment... The name is memory, the story is memory, the unpleasant situations with her or him are memories, the pleasant situations with him or her are memories. Everything is memory. The person is memory. You have nothing to say about yourself without the past, which you are, which you represent.
See the beauty of this encounter we are in here, at this moment. Because, here, we are telling you that there is indeed a real life, free from the past. And this real life does not consist of this you, as you see yourself, as others see you, because they are also looking at you based on the past that you represent to them, that you represented to them. Just as you see them, they are also seeing you. And the beauty of this encounter here is discovering that, at this moment, it is possible for us to have direct contact with the Truth about ourselves.
This encounter is what I have called immersion in Self-awareness. It seems to me that all our talks here revolve precisely around this clear vision of the Revelation of who we are, here and now. This requires the elimination of this format of the past, which the “I” represents, which the person represents, which this “me” represents.
So, here we are seeing exactly this with you. How to deal with the various situations that arise in life? This is impossible: to deal with everything that arises without conflict, without contradiction, without suffering when there is no vision of the Truth of how you function, of how you establish these relationships that we have just presented here for you. They are established based on the past.
So, a life of relationships without conflict, without contradiction, without problems, without suffering is impossible, as long as this entity, this supposed real identity, is present. There is nothing real in this identity, except for this reality that thought has been constructed, established, based on memory, based on the past.
A direct look at all this internal movement – hence the importance of Self-awareness – a direct look at all this movement of the “I,” at all this movement of the ego, is the end of this illusion, it is the end of this psychological condition of relation or relationship. Our relation is with situations, events, objects. You are in a relation with your car, with your house, with your cell phone: this is a relation.
In general, we have no problem with this level of relation, although even here, psychologically, this sense of “I,” of the ego, is always creating some level of discomfort or conflict, even in a relation with objects. But it is much more common for the problem to arise in relations with situations and with people. And this relation with people is what we call a relationship.
Note that a good part, a very large percentage of the problems in our lives, are present precisely within these relations between people, which are our relationships. Discovering the Truth about yourself is going beyond this psychological condition, which is a prisoner of the model of thought. And why is this problem present here, in this relationship? Because this relationship is based on thought; it is a relationship that is established on thought foundation.
The thought that I have about you and the thought that you have about me are mental conclusions, they are ideas, they are beliefs. At times, I like you, at others, I don’t like you. At others, I feel comfortable; at other times, I feel intimidated, or terrified, or afraid. At others, I feel in love, attracted, seduced.
So, notice, all these states in which the human being finds himself are states that are changing. They are internal states, of an emotional, sentimental nature, that are changing due to the thought of the moment and the specific person with whom you are dealing; you feel this about them, this or that other person, and that or the other person feels this about you.
So, our relationships, based on thought, are conflicting, problematic, disorderly, contradictory. We live in internal states that are changing due to the sensation that thought produces, be it a feeling, an emotion, an apprehension, or any state that is present due to the sensation that is present. Here lies the presence of mental conclusion, of the certainty that thought brings us, that thought gives us: a conclusion. Notice, it is just a conclusion, an absolute certainty. See, an absolute temporary certainty, because at the moment that I appreciate you, thought tells me that this will be forever.
This matter of love present, that we feel for people. Look, let's investigate this.What is this love I feel for someone? First: who is this someone that “I” am? Who feels what one feels, specifically, for whom one feels it? And why does one feel it for that person and not for someone else? Does this have anything to do with him or her or does it have something to do with the psychological model of thought that is present here, in this “me,” in this “I?” Note that we do not investigate any of this.
When an emotion, feeling, sensation is present, we do not realize that what is behind it is a model of thought. And every thought in you, notice this, every thought in you is something present because of the past, it is just an experience registered within you in this format of thought, sensation, feeling and emotion.
Some experiences, which are memories in you, have already given you pleasure, have already filled you psychologically at some point. This is reserved, stored, it is part of this memory of this “me,” this “I,” of what, today, is you, and in this encounter with him or her, this appears again, which is nothing other than a memory, a thought with a sensation, feeling or emotion of pleasure in this contact.
Note that this is what we call love, being in love, falling in love. Obviously, we are not aware of any of this on a conscious level. This is a memory or recollection at a deep, hidden, reserved level, something on an unconscious level that is now emerging.
So, it is important that we understand this. Our feelings, emotions, sensations and perceptions of this moment have as their principle this background of which we are not aware. So, this unconscious background reveals itself in this or that format. If it is in the form of pleasure, fulfillment and satisfaction, we call it love, in contact with him or her. But all of this is constantly changing. When situations change, circumstances change, new situations occur, this thought, feeling, sensation and perception also change.
So, we do not understand the Truth about ourselves, and we want to discover what it means to deal with insecurity in a relationship. Note, this requires the presence of the vision of the Truth about you. Ramana Maharshi, the sage from the mountain of Arunachala, to all who approached him with problems, the only recommendation was that he or she become aware of this very “I,” because it is in this “I” that the whole problem lies.
Ramana called it Atma Vichara. So, Atma Vichara, of Ramana Maharshi, is the approach of this look at this inner movement. Once you become aware of this very inner movement, which is the movement of the “I,” you have a vision of the Truth about yourself. So, here, the question is: who am I?
Until it becomes clear to you, notice, that it is exactly this psychological movement of this ego-identity present, processing itself, occurring in a completely mechanical, unconscious way, as long as this is maintained, illusion will be present and problem will be present. Thus, illusion will be present, ignorance will be present, suffering will be present.
The Truth of the Revelation of That which is You is the understanding of the movement of the “I,” the movement of the ego, then it ceases, it ends. This sense of the “I,” of the ego, of this “me,” the illusion of this identity that sees itself separate and apart from Life, separate from the other, separate from God, is this identity that sustains itself with problems, due to this model of separation.
What is the truth of That which is You? To have an approach to oneself is to have the awareness of the Revelation of Divine Truth. So, Atma Vichara is the direct approach to the Revelation of Self-awareness. And when this is present, Something new emerges. This is the end of this old condition of egoic identity and, therefore, of problems present in life.
This is what we are working on here with you in these meetings. Here, on Saturdays and Sundays, we are together investigating this subject, deepening it. There is something that is necessary for our lives at this moment: it is the Awakening of this Natural State of Being, where the sense of the “I” is no longer present. So, here, in the video description, you have our WhatsApp link to participate in these weekend meetings.
In addition, there are face-to-face meetings and retreats. If this is something that makes sense to you, here is an invitation. Leave your “like” here, subscribe to the channel and leave a comment here: “Yes, it makes sense.” Ok? And we'll see you. Thanks for the meeting and see you soon!
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