Notice that there is something very curious about human behavior, and I want to touch on one of these things. Our search in life – notice – the human search in life is a search for love, and yet, their search is the search for happiness. So, let's look at a few things here with you. The first of them is that the idea that people have about happiness is something found when we find some level of pleasure, fulfillment or satisfaction in a given achievement. Thus, there is this search for happiness, in this search for love.
Note, some things will be put here for you within this speech. There is a possible Reality, really, for each one of us, but it is not found in this love as thought within us idealizes, aspires, searches, seeks, wants to find. So, we do not find the presence of the Truth of Love, we find relationships. And in these relationships, this seesaw, the ups and downs of situations happening. We live psychologically, within our relations, or relationships, in these ups and downs of a seesaw: pleasure, joy, fulfillment, satisfaction... this is the “ups.” And the “downs” are conflict, contradiction, deception, lies, and problems in relationships.
This is the seesaw of our relationships with people, this is what we find in human relationships. These days I came across a very curious question that is serious and also funny, at the same time. The question is: “How to deal with a toxic family? How to deal with a toxic family?” For us, the world is toxic, the other is toxic, life is toxic. For us, “I don’t cause any problems for myself; I myself, for myself, I don’t cause any problems. It’s people who cause me problems, they are the ones who are toxic, they are the ones who create situations for me.”
Here, I want to touch on this issue of the illusion about who we are. The truth about who we are is the illusion of who we believe we are. Notice, the truth about who we are is the illusion of who we believe we are, that's the truth about us. In this context of relation or relationship with others, what we have within this context is the presentation of internal states present in “me,” in this “I,” in each one of us, in this contact with him or her, where we have problems, dilemmas, adversities, complications, and disorder.
There are many conflicts in our relationships, but remember, they are many in our relationships because we are present in them. We live as someone special, separate and apart, “others are the ones who cause me problems.” This is not true, the great truth is that our problems in our relations, or in our relationships, are the fact that we are present in these relationships. Therefore, it is not about people causing you problems, being toxic to you, it is about you being present as someone in the experience of relationships, within a context of relationship with the other, having totally contradictory ideas about yourself.
You see yourself as someone good, who doesn't fail, who doesn't make mistakes or has small flaws, but the other person has serious flaws and is not good. Thus, the vision you have of who you are, the vision of yourself, is the vision that your mind has idealized, imagined. Your ideal of being is the thought you have about who you are; others have the same thing about themselves, that's why, when you're in contact with someone, you always see yourself as being right and the other person as being wrong.
Notice that our psychological condition in this so-called “search for love” – which ends up being a great illusion, because what we find in our relationships is not the presence of Love, but rather the presence of confusion, disorder, conflict and suffering – is because our contact with the world based on this illusion, this image that we have constructed about who we are, is an image established in contradiction. You have the ideal of being good, fair, someone who does not make mistakes, who does not fail or who has small and not so serious flaws, but it is an image, it is a conclusion of thought about yourself.
The way you treat others is based on the states of contradiction in which you find yourself, and it is easy to see this here. You must have noticed many times your real state of being someone, someone in contradiction, someone contradictory. You think one thing, you feel another thing and do a third thing. You feel guilty for what you did, remorse for what you caused. You always have the idea or intention of getting it right, and when you seem to have gotten it right, you soon discover that your success was only an agreement in favor of your own “self,” of your own ego, for an advantage, to gain something, to take something from that experience for yourself.
Our life, or the life of the “I,” of this “me,” of this person, is one of contradiction. Our behavior, our actions, since they are born from thought – and we will see this here, now, with you – in the same way that the other behaves is how you behave. Here, our commitment is to study ourselves, not the other. The idea in you is that the other does you harm, the other is toxic, the other harms you, the other is like this, is this way or that other way; whereas, here, we are investigating the truth about who “I” am, about who we are.
So, this search for love and this search for happiness are both mistaken; you will never find happiness in your search. Your ideal of happiness is like your ideal of being good: it is a contradiction that you are not aware of, because you do not see yourself, you do not observe yourself. The Reality of That which is you is not within the knowledge that you have about who you are, the recognition that you make about yourself. Your project of happiness is that, by finding something or someone that makes you happy, you will have love in that encounter, and in the achievement of that search, happiness. This is a mere projection of thought, it is an ideation, it is a mental concept!
Every model we have is a cultural, social model… So, we have an idea about love as an imagination about happiness, whereas we do not know the Truth about who we are. Your search for happiness, in this search of love or your search for love, in this search of happiness, is something that thought has planned, has idealized. This is how our actions are: our actions happening in our relationships are actions that arise from a premeditation of thought.
All actions that occur in life are actions of life, but apart from these actions of life, we have introduced an illusion here: the idea of someone in action; and someone in action is thought in expression. Notice that all your actions arise from thought, so you have a thought, and you try to adjust this action in line with that thought. Anything that you do or set out to do, you do and set out to do based on the psychological structure, which is the structure of the “I.” This psychological structure is this consciousness, where what is present is a movement of thought. So, our ideas are what sustain our actions.
When you have a relationship with someone, what you say to them is based on a thought you have; what you do to them is based on a thought you have; your relationship with them, the expression of emotions or feelings and actions, are based on thought within you. This is an act that arises from the will, from desire, from internal movement, from intentional action. Thus, our actions are born from desire or from fear, this is how our relationships happen and, due to the presence of this psychological condition, of actions centered on this “I,” on this person, confusion is present in the family. It is present in the family because we are this family.
Notice how interesting this is: when we look at the confusion in the world, we believe that there is confusion in the world but there is none in us. This is not true, because the confusion in the world is just a larger extension of a smaller, private confusion within each of us. Here we are, with you, discovering the Truth about who we are, and naturally we need clarity to see. Seeing requires light. Notice that if there is an object there in the dark, you need a light on it. When that object is under the light, beneath the light, it is seen.
What is the truth about you? Do you need to find love? Do you need to seek happiness? Or rather do you need to become aware of the truth about yourself and perceive that your actions, which are born from thoughts, feelings, and emotions, are actions that are producing confusion, disorder, suffering, and problems in your life? And if this is discarded, the Reality of Love reveals itself, the Truth of Happiness shows itself; but as long as there is this movement of searching for love and searching for happiness, as human beings have been doing, all they will find are relationships, and pleasure, and satisfaction, and external achievements in various goals, in various dreams, in various material achievements. This is not the Truth of Happiness.
You may be someone who lives in external comfort, but that does not eliminate, will never eliminate, psychologically, this internal discomfort created and sustained by this ego-identity. What will be the truth of this encounter with the Truth of Love and Happiness? The encounter is the one that occurs when there is the Awakening of Spiritual Intelligence, of this Divine Intelligence, which is the Nature of your Being, something beyond the ego, something beyond the “I,” something outside of this image, this self-image that you have about who you are, and of these images that you have about others.
Note: your family is not the problem, all families are as they are; the world is not the problem, the world is what it is. The problem lies in the fact that the sense of someone present, which is the “I,” “me,” the ego, is constructing an idealized family through thought, in a world that thought is constructing, where this “I,” this “me,” this ego, this person as you see yourself is unhappy. And all this movement from this state of unhappiness, from this ego-identity, all this movement in the search for love, or in search of happiness, is a big ego’s fantasy, it is a great illusion.
Here we have touched on the importance of Revealing the Truth about yourself. The presence of Self-Awareness, the importance of Self-Awareness is this light that makes you perceive the truth about yourself. Here we are, with you, dealing with the blossoming of your Divine Nature, the Reality of your Being, which is, by nature, Real Love and Real Happiness. Realize it! It is not the family, it is not the world that is the problem; it is the illusion of someone, it is the illusion of this “me,” it is the illusion of this “I.”
That's why we're here on weekends, Saturdays and Sundays, working on this with you. Here, in the video description, you can find our WhatsApp link to participate in these online meetings on weekends, where we'll be discussing this topic deeply with you. We also have in-person meetings and retreats. If this is something that makes sense to you, if Awakening, Realization, and the Truth of God are something that are relevant to your life, here's an invitation: go ahead, leave your “like” here and subscribe to the channel, OK? And we'll see you soon! Thanks for the meeting and see you next time.
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