The subject is: emotional attachment or love? This is an issue that we are going to discuss with you now, here, within this meeting. Someone wrote in one of the comments and asked us to talk about it: “Talk, please, about this vision of the mother’s attachment to the child, because how to evolve seeing someone you love choosing to suffer?” So, this is a comment that someone left here on one of the videos and I want to work on that with you here in the next few minutes.
When we ask what love is, we will hardly find someone who does not know what love is. Everyone talks about love; people report how they feel about each other and write poems, songs, and love letters. So, in general, it’s very hard to find someone who doesn't know what love is. The question is: is it true? Another thing is the issue of attachment. People also know what attachment is; everyone knows what suffering is; so, everyone can talk about attachment. The question is: is it true?
Here on this channel, we are investigating with you this issue of attachment, as well as this issue of love. However, we cannot approach love in the same way we have generally done. For us, love is something we can put into words based on that feeling, and attachment is something we can also explain based on that feeling. We need to investigate the nature of attachment as well as of love. We can only directly understand this actually by investigating the nature of the “I.” It is this “I” that we feel that loves and suffers; suffers because of attachment and has joy and pleasure because of love. However, is it true that suffering is necessarily due to attachment and pleasure is necessarily something present when there is love? We don't know the truth about it. We don't know what it’s like to be attached nor to be in love because we don't know what that “I” is. We need to look at what goes on inside us in this relationship with people, objects, and experiences. The non-understanding of this consciousness, which is the consciousness of the “I,” which is the consciousness we bring, manifest, express, and unfold in our relationships, the non-awareness of this consciousness puts us in an internal state of emotional, sentimental, and psychological confusion. It does not allow us to discern what is Real from what is false, and in that which shows to be false – due to this sentimental, emotional and psychological confusion – we see it as something real, something true. The truth of this consciousness is that internally we live in a state of duality.
For us, there is this feeling and thinking in duality; we mistake feeling, pleasure, and satisfaction in a relationship, whether with people, objects, and experiences, for the presence of love because that gives us satisfaction – another form of psychological, emotional, sentimental fulfillment; we put the label of love and say we love. What is not clear to you yet in this relationship with people, situations, and objects is that there is a dependency. When we go through experiences, sensations or are touched by moments of pleasure within a relationship, in general, we record it in memory, and this remains as an experience within us, in this consciousness of the “I.” This gives us a certain fulfillment, puts us temporarily away from that psychological condition we all have, common to all of us, of internal restlessness, discomfort, in fact, of internal suffering. So, when we have this or that form of fulfillment, we keep it as a memory – and it becomes a psychological and emotional gratification within each of us, and we call it “love.” What we have here, in fact, is a dependence on a relationship with this person, this situation, or this or that object. We cultivate an image of what that represents for this “I,” this “me.”
So, look at what we are showing you here, working and seeing together here with you: we do not understand how we work; we do not understand this movement of internalizing experiences, keeping them in memory, and looking for them again to have new sensations, new ways of fulfillment and pleasure, which represent an escape from this psychological condition of suffering, of restlessness we have. Then, there is no understanding of the Truth about who we are in this contact with the husband, the child, or anyone else we have contact with; it is always this “I” in this cultivation of the image we make, expecting from them some form of fulfillment, satisfaction, of possible control in this relationship. This fulfills us sentimentally, psychologically, and emotionally, which, in fact, represents a search for pleasure, for satisfaction in the others, which is pure egocentrism. We don't give others the freedom to be who they are because we are interested in ourselves, and the others are something fulfilling by being who we desire them to be, who we want them to be. Do you get that?
The issue of attachment is not attachment to others but rather to our demands, needs, and projections. It’s strange to hear that, but it’s a fact that can be verified in a very straightforward way if we don't turn our heads to look elsewhere. If we look at ourselves, observe ourselves, here and now, we will see that this attachment is not the attachment to this or that object, this or that person, this or that behavior of the other that makes us suffer, but it is this very sense of an “I,” of an ego, that sense of self-identity. So, this element, which is this consciousness of “I,” produces suffering; it is the root, the cause, and the truth of attachment. Objects and people are just excuses that this ego, this “I” has to justify that it suffers because the other or that does not fulfill it, which is something completely false.
You need to understand the Truth of the end of suffering, that is the end of the “I,” the end of attachment. So, without understanding the end of suffering – and we have to investigate the nature and the true structure of this suffering and realize that this suffering is something cultivated by the ego, by this person I think I am, that I believe I am, that is always in a relationship with the world centered here within itself – while this is not over, until this truly vanishes, we can use the word “love” – “I love you,” “I love her,” “He loves me,” “We love each other” – but without the slightest understanding of what that means.
In Love there is no such attachment, dependence, this need for others to give me something or to move in life as I expect them to move, to do what I expect them to do, to be as I expect them to be, all this is selfishness, it is centered in the “I,” in the ego. And this is present in me because of the suffering that I represent. It is not the other who causes me suffering; suffering is here and now. So, when it seems that others make me suffer, in fact, they are just expressing this suffering that is already here; they are making me aware of suffering like a mirror in this relationship I have with them, that is already present in what this “I” represents and therefore in what I am. Alright?
To look at it, to approach it, and to get rid of the illusion of this “I,” this suffering, this restlessness, all this pain that resides in the “I,” is to discover the Truth of a relationship with the other without attachment and, therefore, without suffering, giving to that other, who is now no longer the other, because if you realize the Truth of your Being, the Truth of that Freedom to no longer suffer psychologically, sentimentally, emotionally because you are free from this ego-identity, what is present is Love; and when there is Love, there is no other. I know this is very radical; it is something revolutionary for some of you, the truth that we do not suffer for the other, that it is not the other that makes us suffer, but rather this sense of an “I” present in a mistaken relationship with life, with oneself, in this division, in this duality “the other and I,” “life and I,” that is the reason for suffering.
So, people have questions like: “How to get rid of attachment,” “What is this Freedom?” or “How to get rid of suffering?” The idea, in general, is totally wrong. It is not the world that makes you suffer, not the others being who they are, doing as they do, behaving as they behave. It is not the others, not life, not what is external, but that mistake, that self-centeredness, the illusion of that ego-identity. The fact is that we spend a lifetime, from cradle to grave, living in the ego, in that ego-identity, that consists of the past, a projection, always an idealization, the idealization which is a projection into the future of a perfect condition for this one, this “I,” for this ego. Then, we are always looking for something idealized by thought, projected by that “I,” by that ego, like this “love” that “one day will come,” that “peace” that “one day will come,” that “happiness” that “one day will come.” All these are projections of the ego, of the “I.” We even have the projection that “God will come one day.” We are also in this search for this so-called “spirituality.”
True Spirituality is the end of the illusion of this “I,” of this ego, but we do not know that because we are projecting God into the future, the Divine Reality achieved tomorrow. So, there is also this projection in this search for God. You cannot go to God because you are the “I,” the ego. That “I,” that ego needs to be investigated and understood; that is the end of it. Then, the Reality of God reveals itself. In the same way for the Truth of Love, we use the expression “love” in this mistaken sense: “love” for the country, for the flag, for the family, for the children, the husband, the wife, for the profession, for our pet, our little dog. Then, we have all this kind of so-called “love.” They are idealizations, beliefs, and concepts about love, God, and peace. “I will have peace when I get this, when I get that,” politicians use this expression; religious people talk a lot about this “peace,” this so-called “inner peace.” If there is Peace, it goes beyond the internal and the external. Do you get that?
Peace cannot be internal without being external; it cannot be external if there is not this internal Peace before, so Peace is Peace, it is not internal, not external, it is the Peace of God. Love cannot be personal – to the flag, homeland, the family, the dog; it is the Love of God. Happiness cannot be “my happiness” because this or that project has been completed, or this or that dream has been achieved. Love is Love; it cannot be personal, particular, or individualistic; it cannot be “love of my family” without Love for family. Family is everything, not “my family,” we are all human beings living in the same world, in the same house. When there is Love, there is no Love for one without Love for the other. I've been asking people if they can love the doorman of the building the same way they can love the one who delivers the letter to their house; if they can love the son, not their son, but the neighbor’s son. If our relationships with each other can be without this division, this personal sense differentiation, then we have the presence of Love, and it is the Love of God, the Truth of your Being, the Truth of your Divine Nature.
So, we are here dealing with you with What is beyond the ego, the “I,” beyond that sense of separateness and, therefore, of division; without division, separateness, or duality. Therefore, our proposal here is Advaita. It comes from Advaita Vedanta, Non-separation. Love is the presence of Non-separation; Love is the presence of Truth, of God, and when there is Love, there is no more suffering, there is no longer this illusion of “someone” to evolve. Then, here in the comment the person talks about “evolve,” which is within concept, belief.
The Reality of your Being is here and now, and in It, there is no room for evolution; your Being is ready, complete; it is the Reality of God; It does not evolve, It does not grow, It does not expand. That is the Awakening of Real Consciousness, which is the Reality of Consciousness, that is God. This concept of evolution is a concept we have. Evolution is something present in time and the expansion of consciousness is also something present in time. Here, we are talking about Real Consciousness; It is timeless, not in time; therefore, there is no evolution. These are intellectual, mental concepts. We are bringing it into this sphere of the known because we see a short sprout tree becoming huge and producing fruit – it has evolved, it is an evolution in time, but this is a concept of the known within what we call evolution. Here we are talking about Something that transcends time, space, and this “world” phenomenon, therefore, transcends time.
The Reality of your Being is the Reality of God, of Love, Peace, Freedom, and Happiness; when This is present, there is no more sense of “I,” of ego. So, notice it very clearly; there is no longer this matter of attachment or detachment when the “I” is not there. The only Reality present is the Reality of Love; when there is Love, there is no more suffering because there is no longer that sense of an “I” that suffers, fears, clings, owns, controls, that is psychologically occupied and cares about the other. I know this all sounds very strange and maybe very, very, very radical, because our perspective on the “I,” on the ego, within our culture, our human culture, within a humanistic vision, this sense of an “I” is something very important, and you already have a whole idea of what life is, what value it has, what value it possesses, and that is totally false, completely wrong. Then, to Awaken is needed, this Awakening of Consciousness. The Awakening of Consciousness is the awareness of the Truth of Love, which is the end of suffering; therefore, of attachment and also detachment, because there is no “I.” Alright?
That’s our subject here, so we made this talk pointing here and now to you as a response to that comment. To look at the Truth we are, assuming this is to assume a life of Bliss, Happiness, Freedom, Divine awareness, the awareness of God, a life without confusion, a life in that flow. That is our subject here in the channel. We have several playlists about the importance of this Self-Awareness, the True Meditation, this Truth about the end of suffering, this Truth about the end of this search for some form of fulfillment, which is a way of escaping the pain in the experience with situations, objects, and people. So, it’s fundamental that we look at all of this and discover a life free from these psychological escapes, from this way of clinging to these psychological escape mechanisms, seeing this “I” in its escape mechanics, which is also a mechanism that is seeking to escape from itself and, simultaneously, fulfilling itself with all sorts of illusions. Looking at what is happening here and now, understanding yourself, seeing the Truth of your Being, and Realizing God in this life, is our objective here within this channel.
If this is something that makes sense to you, please, leave your “like”; write a comment like: “Makes sense,” and subscribe to the channel. Ok? Some of you watch the videos and forget to subscribe, just click there and you already subscribe to the channel. In addition, there is our WhatsApp group for online meetings that take place on the weekends in the description of the video; besides, we have face-to-face meetings and also retreats. Here’s the invitation and see you! Thanks for the meeting, and see you soon!
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