It becomes essential for each of us to approach life in an intelligent way, in a wise way, in an understanding way. As our life lies within relationships, we need to understand this issue of relationships, especially human relationships. So, we want to discuss with you this issue of human relationships and how to live a life where conflict is not established as the norm, as a rule, as a pattern of life.
In general, what we know as life are relationships, and relationships, in general, in conflict. And why is this present? And why is every form of conflict present in our relationships? And, here, not only the human relationships between “you and me,” between “us and them,” but relationship as a whole. Relationships with objects are mistaken relationships. The relationship with situations, with circumstances, with events… the relationship with life as a whole – not just the relationship between “you and me,” between “us and them” – human relationships – in general, our relationships are conflicting relationships. And why is this present?
We also cannot deny this, we just have to look at this. And actually, there's no way of denying this; the world is in complete uproar, we live in great confusion with each other. So, we have the relationship at home and we have the relationship between cities, the relationship between countries, between nations… the relationship with everyone around us. Why does it occur? Why does it happen? Because these relationships have, as a principle, a movement from a center. Let's clarify this for you now.
First, we have to understand what this center is from which relationships take place: me and you. So, in the relationship with you, I am the center. This “I” is always the center. It is our relationship with the other – whether that other be the world, circumstances, situations, events, accidents, thoughts, emotions, feelings – there is this “I” and this other thing, and with this other thing we relate to. We are always the center of relationships. Then, in our relationships, this “I” is always the center.
The point here is: what does this “I” consist of? Here we have another question, which is why people ask questions like: “How to deal with thoughts?” or “How to get rid of thoughts?” or “What is thought?” Because it has already been realized that thought, in us, is that in which this “I” establishes itself and sustains relationships, establishes relationships, and maintains relationships. Therefore, without an understanding of what thought is and how to deal with thoughts, our relationship with the world, our relationship with others will inevitably be a relationship without Intelligence, without Freedom, where there will be no Understanding. And when this is not present, contradiction, fear, suffering, and conflict are established.
Thus, our relationships are conflicting, because we are internally, psychologically, mentally, in conflict. It has even become ordinary and a general rule to accept these internal psychological states of anguish, contradiction, anxiety... With all forms of fear, we are always dealing within this principle, which is the principle of thought, and this has already been established as something common to everyone. So, we are somewhat accustomed to this condition.
Here, our invitation to you is for a Comprehension of this internal movement within each of us: to become aware of how the mind works, how the thinking in us works, and what dealing with thoughts really means. Because once there is order internally, inwardly, psychologically, within each one of us, once the thinking in us is understood – then, there is a comprehension of what that thinking is and, naturally, what that feeling in us is – our relationship with “him,” with “her,” with the other, with life, with situations, circumstances, and events undergoes a profound transformation, a radical change.
The Comprehension of this is the Awakening of the Truth about ourselves. When there is this Awakening, this Comprehension of how all this is established, it becomes very clear. And if this is clear, suffering ends, confusion ends – I refer to this psychological suffering –, once within each of us the Comprehension of what this movement is takes place, which is the movement of thought. So, let’s see this very clearly here: with the question “what is thought?” We have a Comprehension of what it is to deal with thoughts and we will clarify this.
When we have experiences, we store those experiences in a format within each of us. This format is remembrance. Each and every thought of you is born from remembrance. So, the remembrance of an experience is thought, thought is just a reaction, a response that comes from memory; that memory is the past. So, when we go through experiences, these experiences are stored as remembrances, memories, and that is the past in us. Thus, our response to this moment can only be given based on what we have acquired, such as past experiences, which are remembrances, memories, and, therefore, thoughts.
So, for the question “How to deal with thoughts”? since thought is what is established within relationship – as the main element within the relationship – it is needed that this Comprehension, which is the Comprehension of the past in us, be seen at this instant. When I recognize you, what I have of you is the past, because it is knowledge, memory, it is remembrance. The point here that we need to understand clearly is that whenever I am in contact with you it is a relationship, or in contact with a situation, it is a relationship; with an event, a happening, an experience at this moment, it is a relationship; with an event, a happening, an experience at this moment, it is a relationship; and if I place this past within this instant, within this moment, this past does not do justice to this moment. My contact with you is new, but what I have about you is old. My contact with you is at this instant. This instant never happened, it will never happen again; it is, at this moment, revealing itself as something new.
So, I bring this “I” – which is made up of thoughts, remembrances, memories, past – I bring this movement to this moment, so there is not a perfect relationship, there is an inadequacy in this contact. What the ego, the “I,” this “me” – which is the past – does, is to try, at this moment, to adjust to this moment something that it already brings, something that it already has. Then, “I like you” is the past, “I don’t like you” is the past, “I accept you,” “I don’t accept you” … All this contact at this moment, since it is something that comes from the past, it is not a Free action. If there is no Freedom, notice, there is no Intelligence, there is no Comprehension.
So, Love is absent from our relationships, and if Love is absent and if what is established is this “I,” which is the center within this experience – notice, centered on ourselves – we are self-interested. The entire movement of thought in us, which is the movement of the “I,” is self-centered, egocentric. So, this contact with “you” is to extract, to take out, to find something for “me,” since this “me,” this “I,” is only established and has its continuity by accumulating experiences, therefore, memories and remembrances.
So, we already have the answer: “How to deal with thoughts?” By becoming aware that you, as this “I,” are nothing other than a movement of memory. How can we deal with memory? In an intelligent way. And what is this intelligent way of dealing with memory? By being Aware of Freedom. The point is that thought is not Free, memory is not Free, the past is not Free. There is only one way to get closer to this: it is by paying Attention to this moment, Attention to our relationships. A relationship Free from the past is a relationship Free from memory and, therefore, from thought.
Notice how important this is: at a certain level, thought is needed. Recognizing your face is memory, remembering your name is memory. So far so good, but this model of likes and dislikes, where does this come from? Let's make this clear here. Yesterday you told me nice things, then I like you. Yesterday you said unpleasant things to me, then I approach you with suspicion or even disliking you. This “like” and “dislike” concerns this “me,” this accumulation of memory. This memory is the psychological memory, in which the ego, the “I,” establishes its life, its continuity.
Thus, this continuity of the “I” is the continuity of this psychological memory. This psychological memory, which is the past, is what has been established in us over time. Every movement of relationship I have with this instant, with life, with others, with the world, is this instant being interpreted within this psychological connection of a time constructed by memory, of a time that is memory – this time is the psychological time.
It is in this psychological time that the “I” is living. Note that people want to learn how to deal with thoughts because thoughts produce suffering. How to overcome anguish? How to overcome fear? How to overcome anxiety? Notice, thought is the basis of anxiety, anguish, and fear. Thought is fear. There is no fear without the movement of thought. Thought is this movement that comes from the past, so this is the psychological time in which the person, which is the “I,” each one of us, is living.
We are always establishing the psychological past in our relationships at this moment, and that is conflict. So, there is no Truth, there is no Intelligence, there is no Love, because our life is situated in the past, in this “liking” and “disliking” from this center, which is a psychological center. It is the center of an identity formed by thought. These thoughts are images, they are remembrances, recollections; it seems to me that this has already become clear here for you. There is no other thought than this present.
The point here is that we don't need thought in our relationships, we need this Attention, this Intelligence, this Presence. Except for this very simple thought, the memory of your name and of your face, of the person you are, but notice, without any image of who you are, because this image we have of who you are, is something that comes from the past. That’s when contact becomes possible in the relationship with others, with life, without conflicts, without problems.
How do I get rid of obsessive thoughts? How do I get rid of negative thoughts? How do I get rid of repetitive thoughts? Notice, this is an addictive movement in this egoic mind, this consciousness of the “I,” of always being established in time, in this psychological time. Our investigation here is to discard this from our lives. Becoming Aware of Life happening here and now, in this direct contact with others or with any situation, or event, without this model of psychological time, of psychological formation.
Therefore, the vision of the Comprehension of what we are at this moment, what we demonstrate to be, what we present ourselves to be, becomes essential. This Attention on this movement – I refer to Mindfulness on each and every movement of thought, feeling, sensation, or perception. To become aware of this without placing this model, which is the model of the “I,” which is the model of thought, to try to adjust this moment to what it believes, wants, desires, expects, or is seeking. Alright?
So, that's our job here. This also occurs in online meetings on weekends. Here in the video description, you have our WhatsApp link to participate in these meetings that take place on weekends. In addition, we have face-to-face meetings and also retreats. If what you have just heard is something that makes sense to you, go ahead and leave your like here, subscribe to the channel, and please write it here in the comment: “Yes, it makes sense.” OK? And see you at our online meeting on the weekends. Thanks for the meeting and see you next time!
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