What we are seeing here with you is this complex structure, this complex nature, let’s call it this way, of the “I”, this complex nature of this psychological state that we live in. What is the truth of this “I"? What is this structure? What is the nature of this “I"? That is our business with you. The structure of this “I” is thought, memory, remembrances, and experiences. Memories, remembrances, and experiences are something that concern thoughts and the past, this is the structure of the “I.” It is in this structure of the “I” that our life is taking place, and it is a complex structure that needs to be investigated, because it is this structure that has favored this internal condition of conflict and suffering, and external, of expression of this.
So, all the external confusion in our lives, because of this complexity of the “I”, is occurring first internally and then being reflected externally in our lives of relationship with each other, in our life of relationship with the world, with everything around us. So, this is the subject discussed here with you.
What is this “me”? Who is this “me”? When you use the pronoun “I”, what is it? Who are you? Who is this person? That person is an idea you have about who you are. This idea is supported by thought, which is stored memory, experience and knowledge. And how did that become possible? This became possible due to the non-observation of the very movement of consciousness in us. So that which has arisen is this element, which is the “I” element. This complex element, which some call the ego, the “me”. It is the sense of an “I” present within the experience. Everything that we have learned until today is based on this mechanism, on this process, on the process of memory, remembrance, knowledge, it is something that is based on this principle of thought. And this is what we are investigating with you: how to go beyond this condition, which is the illusory condition of a present identity, which is the “I”.
The presence of this “I” is the presence of suffering, so this suffering in our life is present because we have not investigated this Truth about who we are. Because we are getting confused with this belief, with this idea, with this concept, there is no Freedom, there is no Peace, there is no Love, there is no Truth in our lives, because we have a life that is shown to be separate from the Whole, separate from Existence, a self-centered life, a life centered on the “I.”
If we are willing to realize the Truth about who we are, we need to examine this condition of being that we have become confused with. We have to look with all our minds, with all our hearts, we have to learn to listen, hear this, look at this. The instrument we have at the moment is this mind, even this mind that is still narrow, limited, confused, in this disorder, even this mind is still sustained by this condition of misunderstanding, which is this condition of identification with thoughts, with all this memory, with all this knowledge and experience. This condition I have called the “egoic mind,” but the element we have to investigate it starts from the observation of this mind, this still narrow mind, this still limited mind, this artificial condition of being that we live in. This artificial view of the world, this artificial view of ourselves is the vision of this egoic mind, this mistaken mind. We have to observe this mechanism, how this mind works. So, we have to pay full attention to that, to observing the mind, how it works, how it processes itself, how it has led our lives within that condition.
Note that our life, based on thought, based on knowledge and memory, is a life based on the past. Everything we can say about who we are is based on everything that we store in our brain, we register in our brain, as memory. Thus, we confuse ourselves with this memory, we confuse ourselves with this story that thought has constructed. We need to get closer to the Truth about who we are by investigating this inner movement of this mental consciousness, which is another name I’ve been giving to this egoic mind, to this inner complexity of thinking that we get confused with – we are confusing with this complexity, with this egoic mind, with this egoic consciousness.
I have given different names to this internal psychological prison condition that we are experiencing. Here I want to invite you to look at this, to become aware of this inner movement. So, we need to observe what is going on in ourselves, observe it in a direct way, and you observe when you look, when you simply and only look at it.
I've been talking about the importance of that look without comparing it to anything else. And how do we look at it? Becoming aware of ourselves, of what is happening now, here, within each one of us, without judging it, without condemning it, without being against or in favor of what we observe. So, this is something that is not very simple, at least not at first, because we have a programming, what I have called “conditioning”; it’s a conditioning of looking, it’s a way, it’s a habit, it’s a mechanism of doing. We are generally judging all experiences; we are judging what goes on externally and what goes on internally. Self-observation is the ability to look at this internal movement without judging yourself, without self-condemnation, also without self-justification. You don't condemn or justify, you observe, you look, you become aware of that inner movement, which is an “I” movement.
So, the real way to approach “learning about ourselves” is to observe without judging ourselves, without comparing ourselves with others, and also without self-condemnation. You don't condemn yourself; you don't justify yourself; you don't compare yourself; you just observe each and every movement of the “I” arising here and now. This is the way to learn about ourselves, to become aware of this complex “I” movement. So, I call it psychological complexity, because it’s the complex movement of the “I.” You are getting confused with the movement of thought, feeling, emotion, sensation, and you get confused when you self-justify what you feel or self-condemn what you feel, when you reject it or when you give identity to it.
In general, we reject what doesn't give us pleasure, psychologically, so we condemn it, we reject it from ourselves. On the other hand, what gives us psychological pleasure we confuse with, we identify with and we self-justify this psychological experience; with that we are conserving this complexity of the “I.” It is this “I” that has sustained all kinds of confusion, all kinds of disorder in our lives. So, the outer confusion is a reflection of that illusion, which is the illusion of the “I,” which lives in its complexity, in its inner confusion. And when this is reflected externally, it appears in our world, in our relationships with each other, as a conflicting, problematic, suffering, fearful relationship. And that’s what we know, it’s pleasure and fear, psychologically speaking, and we're mistaking ourselves for that experience, putting ourselves as an identity present in it, reaffirming over and over again the continuity of the “I”.
We need to discover the beauty, the understanding of the Truth about who we are, and that is dying to this sense of “I,” it is the death of this illusion – the illusion of a present identity. We are always giving continuity to the “I,” so we are always continuing the past, all that we have experienced, lived, accumulated, stored, which is part of the memory and this psychological time condition in us. We don't experience dying psychologically, dying to pleasure, dying to pain, dying to experience, so we are always continuing this “I” with this complexity that it represents, with this fear and desire that it represents. So, our lives are confused and disoriented, there is tremendous psychological and physical disorder in our Existence. So, outwardly the disorder is present, and inwardly it is being sustained, because we haven't let go of the past.
Life is something that is present here and now as the One Reality. It is Life as It Is, Life as It shows itself, in It there is no sense of an “I” present, of an ego, of an experiencer. There is no such psychological complexity, no such “me” to deal with what happens, what occurs, what arises in that instant, in that moment. And yet, we are always sustaining this condition. There is always a way of translating what happens, interpreting what happens, rejecting what happens, getting confused with what happens, and trying to make what happens here, in this instant, in life, as something for this “me,” for this “I,” for this person. So, confusion is present, and where there is confusion – which is disorder – there is suffering.
The Truth of your Being... That’s why it’s necessary to look at it, it’s necessary to look at it, that’s what’s fundamental within this work; to look at any and every inner movement, because it’s this unobserved, unreleased inner movement, it’s this unresolved inner movement that shows itself in our lives externally as disorder, as confusion, as suffering. So, self-observation is the beauty of approaching ourselves and looking at ourselves, here and now. Observing the mind, as I said just now: the instrument we have closest to us is this mind itself. The mind becomes silent, quiet, when it is observed; when it is not observed, it is the very element of confusion, the very element of disorder. So, we need a mind capable of observing itself, looking at itself, seeing itself. This is possible when there is a certain space, a certain silence, a certain presence, a certain consciousness, and this becomes possible when there is no judgment, no comparison, no self-rejection, no self-criticism.
So, just to look, to observe oneself is to allow the mind to become silent in a very natural way, and when it becomes silent in a natural way, the mind becomes aware of itself, aware of all this confusion, all this disorder, all this complexity. It becomes aware because there is a space in this stillness, in this silence, in this space. There is this observation of the movement of the egoic mind. Then, a whole new mind is present, and if it is present, this illusion of the “I” – this illusion that is this psychological complexity, that is this mental consciousness – is undone.
So, the secret is to look at what is going on here in this instant. Don't get involved with that gaze; all our difficulty lies in that look without getting involved. Our inclination, our practice, our habit, our conditioning, is always to interfere, always to get involved. Some things we like to see in ourselves, and other things we don't like.
We have been given an idea about the importance of changing our lives, so this intention of psychological change within each of us is still part of an inner conditioning movement that we carry. So, we want self-improvement, we want to improve ourselves, we want to get rid of addictions, to completely abandon that which might tarnish our image to ourselves, to others, and to God. We want to be well with ourselves, with others, and with God, so whatever we are seeing right now, here, doesn’t match the image we believe we should have of ourselves. We want to eliminate, we want to get rid of it. So, we want self-development, we want to improve ourselves, we want to be better people, we want to find the virtues and get rid of the vices; so, looking at oneself is not something so simple, yet I invite you to just look and, yet, I know it’s not something so simple, because our conditioning is to identify with what is presented. We identify in a positive way when what we see we like and identify with, giving identity to this experience, this seeing, this experiencing, this feeling about us; and we identify ourselves, also, when we reject it, when we want to reject it from us, that’s when we want to interfere, to get rid of what we are seeing, because we think it is ugly, we think it is not compatible with what we should be – that is just an image we make about ourselves, or we think it is not what we should be, because it is not compatible with someone who is pleasing to God, or “How will the other see me if I continue like this?” So, this is a way of identifying ourselves, also, when we reject what we look at, what we see present here, at this moment.
So, looking at oneself without interfering means observing, just observing. When you do that, you don't put an observer separating himself in that observation. When you reject, you put an observer wanting to get rid of that, and when you do that, you are reaffirming, again, the sense of an identity present in this experience of seeing, of looking. That is when there is the experiencer and the experience, the observer and what is shown there as being the thing observed. To do that is to miss the opportunity to be aware of the Real sense of Being Consciousness, which is the absence of that separation. Don't separate yourself from that, don't separate yourself from what you observe, don't separate yourself from what you are observing, don't separate. Don't create the illusion of an observer to deal with this experience. There is nothing to do with that experience, there is nothing like this thing of getting rid of that which is shown because it is unpleasant, or holding onto that which is shown because it is pleasant. You simply observe it.
As I am saying to you: at first this is just simple observation, although it is not that simple, but it is something that needs to be done and it is something that starts happening in a very natural way once you start observing. That attention starts to show up, that attention starts to arise, that real intention to look without intervening, without interfering, starts to show up. So, you are approaching self-inquiry, this represents the basis of Self-knowledge, of True Meditation in practice.
So, that’s the secret: looking at what we are, just looking, becoming aware, having an observation free of the observer. If it’s a thought, it’s a thought free of the thinker; if it’s a feeling, it’s a feeling free of the one who is involved in that feeling; if it’s an emotion, it’s becoming aware of the emotion without the one who is involved in the process. Then, you notice a change, because the thinking disappears, the emotion disappears, that which is seen falls away in this Consciousness free of the “I.” Then, something new arises, this new something is the Presence of the Consciousness, it is the Presence of the Real Consciousness. It is now present because the mind has become quiet, silent. The mind has not been silent, the mind has silenced, it has quieted down. It has not been quieted, it has quieted; it has not been silenced, it has become silent.
Then, this Real Consciousness arises and with that, there comes the end of the “I.” So, you are in this instant, in this moment, free of the past. In other words, this death of the past, the death of the illusion of “I,” the death of the illusion of the egoic sense, the sense of separation, is now taking place. What is then revealed is that which has no name, that which is of extraordinary Beauty, the Truth of your Being, which is the Truth of God.
Our work here is to look at that, to realize that, now, here, in this life. If this is something that makes sense to you, leave your “like” and subscribe to the channel. I want to remind you: we have online meetings, face-to-face meetings, and also retreats, where we are working this out with you. Okay?
Thanks for the meeting and see you next time!
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