The question is: “Why is there conflict in our relationships?” The answer is very basic: it's because our relationships are relationships that are not free from thought. Everything we know about human relationships is based on this structure, which is the structure of thought. Note, unobserved thought, not understood.
Thought naturally has a place in our lives, but we need to have a Real approach to it. People ask how to deal with thoughts because they've perceived that thoughts bring conflict, they bring contradictions, they bring problems. So, our lives are situated within this guideline, which is the guideline of thought. And thought is, by nature, separatist, it divides us, it separates us.
We need to get closer to the Truth about who we are. This is the end of the self-image. This image we form about ourselves, the image I have about who “I” am, the image I have about who you are, this is based on thought. If there isn't this Truth of understanding how thought works here, you’re not clearly aware of how to deal with thoughts.
So, we lack the Truth about ourselves. That's why we've been talking to you here about the importance of Self-Awareness, the vision of Self-Awareness. Notice, this issue of self-awareness in psychology, we need to have a real approach to it. From a theoretical viewpoint, from a conceptual, verbal viewpoint, it won't work.
A clear vision of how we function is something that requires a direct look, without concepts, without words, without ideas. So, this approach is of the utmost importance. The real approach to Self-Awareness is the Revelation of God. I’ve called it Supreme Self-Awareness. It's not mere self-awareness, where we theoretically study about it. It's not self-awareness that we get involved with in order to get results, in the sense of a “better person.”
Note this: a “better person” is one who has a more clarified, well-mannered, polished, disciplined self-image, who knows a little about how to deal with others. That's not what we're dealing with here. We're investigating the end of this self-image with you here.
So, Self-Awareness in practice is the Supreme Self-Awareness, it's the awareness of the Divine, the awareness of God, the awareness of the Truth of what is present and what is beyond the “I,” the “ego”. Do you get that?
Is it possible to live a life free from this sense of duality, of separateness? This is known as Advaita. Advaita is Non-duality, Non-separation, “the one without the second.” The nature of this Being, this True Being we are, is the Nature of God. So, the Reality of God in this encounter with the other is not the encounter with the other, it is the encounter with God, with the only Reality present because there is no duality, there is no separation.
My contact with my wife, my husband, my children, my family, my friends at work, my boss at work, the world around me, if this encounter is one where the sense of an “I,” of an identity that is separate from the other is present, we have established conflict.
Can we get rid of this mechanism that has created this present identity? Can we get rid of the mechanism that has sustained this identity present in relationships, which is the sense of “I,” the ego?
Is it possible to have a relationship with the other without the idea of “someone” there and “someone” here? Without this movement of separation and, therefore, contradiction, in this egocentric self-interest and, of course, being free from suffering, fear, envy and all the conflicts present in an encounter where the ego is present in its self-centeredness? Is it possible to live a life free of the “I,” of the ego? How can we get rid of this mechanism?
First we have to ask how these images are formed. Note: over the years, since you were a child, everything you've acquired about yourself is memory, remembrance, and recollection, it's thought, it's something that comes from the past. Everything you have about who you are is put into words based on memories, recollections, which are thoughts. This has shaped the person you believe to be, this is self-image.
When you meet someone for the first time, you don't know their name, you've never seen their face, you have no idea who they are, but after a few seconds, in one contact, in a few words, you already have their name, you already have a memory of their face. At that moment, by force of habit in us, an image of the other person is formed within a few seconds from meeting them.
So, now you know who the other person is – at least that's how the egoic mind in you now positions itself in this relationship: you create an image. The next time you come across that person, the idea is that you already know them. Notice that!
Notice how we've been functioning in our relationships. Is that true? Could it be that in this contact you’ve had for over the last fifteen years with the husband or wife, do you really know him or her? Do you know her? Does she know you? Or what you have of him or her is a collection of remembrances, of recollections, of images within relationships, of these various relationships you've had with him or her?
So, our relationships with one single person or with several people over time, is something that is contributing to a large set of memories and recollections we hold within each of us. That shapes this self-image: the image I make of myself in this contact with him or her, and the image I have of him or her within these relationships for the next encounters.
So, everything I have of myself and everything I have of the other are concepts, memories, recollections, and images. The sense of a present identity, which is the “I,” the ego, is exactly that. Thus, our contact with the world is a contact where suffering is present because self-centeredness is present, and because this separation is present, our relationships are established in this way.
We don't just have an image of the other, we have an image of the other country, and we have an image of a certain place. “I like some places and I don't like other places”: this is based on the image I have of that place or that other place. “I like that country, but I don't like that other one”: it's based on an image I have of that country. So, all our movement in life is based on images.
We have images of people, we have images of places, we have images of countries, and we have dogmatic images that are based on religious beliefs. Notice how we have worked. These images produce divisions, they produce separations, they divide us, they separate us from each other, they create problems in our relationships.
Countries have relationship problems, people have relationship problems, cities have relationship problems, all of this occurs because of this division, a division that the images sustain. All of this is part of this psychological movement to be “someone” and to see the world from this “I,” this ego.
So, there is prejudice, there are class divisions, national divisions, social divisions, so-called “spiritual” divisions, religious divisions, divisions between families. Within a family, division is present. Some relatives “I like,” other relatives “I don't like.” What is this “I,” this ego?
Observe, our approach here in these meetings is to end this psychological condition of being “someone.” It requires this important vision of life showing itself at this moment. When there is an approach to Truth in the practice of Self-Awareness, we have in this encounter the discovery of this element, which is the “I,” which separates, which divides in order to clash.
So, thought is something that is involved in this, because it is always thought that actually sustains all of this. We don't perceive that all of this is part of this game thought creates in each of us. I refer to this psychological thought.
We need thought in a practical way – as we've talked about here several times. Your name, your address and your face are something interesting in this relationship with me. That's what I need from you: the memory of your face, your name, your address.
For practical matters, relationship contact, objective thinking, simple thinking, simple memory, in these relationships are essential. But this psychological memory that is shaping this self-image – the image I have of myself and the image I have of who you are – note, this is something completely unnecessary, dysfunctional; in fact, it generates crises, conflicts, suffering between us – between us and them, between people, between countries, between religious beliefs, and between religions.
The end to all this is the awareness of the Truth of your Being, which is the Truth of God, which is Revealed when there is Freedom from this self-image, when we free ourselves from the image of this “me,” this ego.
The awareness of Meditation, the vision of Real Meditation is the emptying of this psychological content that has formed this self-image. So, a contact with life, with others, with the world, with places, with people, without the sense of a “person” involved in it, which is the “me,” the “I,” the ego, this is the Freedom of Being-Consciousness-Bliss, which we have dealt with here in these videos on the channel.
We're going deeper into this in online meetings, which take place here on weekends. Looking at what we are, becoming aware of the Truth of what's going on inside each of us and abandoning this illusion of “someone present” in life, within experience, is the foremost thing in this Existence, in this Life.
Notice, this is the end of this particular life of the “I” for a Real Divine Life, for a Real Life of God. That's Spiritual Enlightenment, that's Spiritual Awakening, that's the Realization of God in this life. This is what the Sages recognize by Advaita, Non-duality, Non-separation.
The sense of “someone” present in the experience being the experiencer of the experience is completely illusory, it's something that thought is producing. This model is the model of duality, of separateness. So, there is this “I,” the experiencer and the experience. In this separation, the self-image is established and, naturally, there is conflict since there is this “I like it” or “I don't like it.”
All my contact with you, based on this “like” or “dislike” is an egocentric self-projection, where egoic duality is present, where this pattern of separation is present. In India, this is known as Dvaita. Dvaita means division, separation.
Here we are working with you on the vision of Advaita, Non-duality, Non-separation, the end of that experiencer in the experience. So, if the experience is present, it's life without that center, which is the “I,” the ego. Then, a contact like this, with everything around you, with places, people, and situations is a contact where the Reality of your Being is present.
So, for this purpose we have these meetings here, which take place on weekends. We also have face-to-face meetings and retreats. I want to leave you with this invitation. If this makes sense to you, go ahead and leave a comment here – “Yes, it makes sense” – and subscribe to the channel. Okay? Please, leave a like. And we'll see you. Thanks for meeting us and see you next time!
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